Debaucherie...

Updates and Where I've Been Hiding...

2010-11-13T21:22:00.003Z

I know it seems like I abandoned you guys, but the truth is that I got really busy with life. I stalked you guys regularly however, so don't worry. I wasn't unfaithful.

I was busy completing my masters degree (with honours... you know how I do ;)) and I'm currently preparing to simultaneously launch two businesses and I've been asked to be an editor for an online magazine. I'm also preparing to return to Nigeria so life is pretty busy at the moment.

TBF and I broke up about a year ago... it was mutual and we're pretty good friends now... we're kinda keeping the future open. I have a new boyfriend now. The total opposite of XBF but I'm crazy about him. Dunno how long it will last but I'll just enjoy myself and feel every feeling while it lasts.

I've been fortunate enough to meet some of you in person and online and I would love to meet more of you if possible. I gave into the BB craze during the year so I don't mind doing a PIN swap... you know...

Sooooo that's what's up with me. I'll try to post more often, but till I find a balance, posting will be pretty sporadic.

Oh and I got another tattoo for my birthday. I'm 23 now. Old.

Thank you so much to everyone that checked up on me while I was away, your concern means a lot to me. I hope you guys are well and I'm hoping y'all will catch me up on the gist I missed while I was away.

I wish you all happiness and God's blessings and... anyway we go yan =D

Make Up Sex...

2010-07-13T01:34:00.003+01:00

"I think we should break up"
"So I should just say ok and let you leave?"
"Yes"
"I can't do that."

I just wanted him to come home. He'd been gone for weeks and I missed him so much it made me angry. When he got home, we weren't even speaking.

When he came over I didn't know what to say. I opened the door and there he was. Instinct took over and I grabbed him in a hug and held him tight, then dragged him into my bedroom.

"I'm sorry."
"Me too."

And then we kissed... and we fucked and made love all at once.

"I guess we haven't lost our sexual chemistry."
"Dude why would you even think that?"

Best. Birthday. Ever.

Kedu Bear

2009-12-02T20:05:00.005Z

He towered over me with his intimidating build, but because he was a man... I felt no fear. His lust for me made him weak. Unfortunate.

He started off with the chatter, but I'd heard it all before and I headed him off at the pass. He tried the looks, but I am the mistress. Eventually he was reduced to staring. Simply staring. Devouring my anatomy with those hooded eyes, his desire naked and stupefying. He couldn't move for want.

I was not unaware of his lust but I was not impressed by it either. I chose to ignore in the hope that it would go away. It only made it worse. I became a game to him, a puzzle he had to solve. Why was I not tripping all over him like the little white girls he bedded regularly?

I wanted to avoid him but our paths crossed often as he was flatmates with my best mate.

He watched me one night as I toiled in the kitchen making a meal for my friend, watched me as my shirt slid down revealing a smooth shoulder... his eyes left scorching trails on my skin and still I pretended not to notice. I walked past him to call my buddy down the hall and my left breast brushed against his arm. He leaned in and barred my way, but he said nothing.

He couldn't help himself, he leaned in and kissed my shoulder and a cry died in my throat. The dark chocolate smell of raw cocoa butter assailed his nostrils and he sank his teeth in. My knees sank in response but he grabbed me around my waist and lifted me bodily. The knife I was holding fell unheeded to the floor as he carried me to his room, none too delicately.

He sat me on the bed and stared at me. I was breathless and a little scared. I was excited and more than a little aroused.

"Why do you play with me so?" he asked.

"I don't know what you are talking about Kedu Bear. I must return to the kitchen."

"But you know little vixen, you know."

I put on a bored expression and made my way to the door. "Later Kedu Bear."

"You're safe while Yoru is in the flat, but if I catch you alone..." he smirked.

I gave a shaky laugh and closed the door behind me.

I Can't Sleep Naked...

2009-10-09T23:06:00.003+01:00

I love my body too much.

I don't have flawless skin. I don't have perfect breasts or the roundest ass or the smoothest skin.

But I love my body.

When I'm naked and it's dark and it's just me under the covers... I have to touch myself. My mind becomes flooded with memories of sex past and my breathing comes short and sharp and I squeeze my thighs together in order to dispel the urge... but it doesn't work.

Once my skin feels my skin, I start to lust for myself. I yearn for the feel of my wetness on my fingers. I yearn for the feel of his velvet cock inside me... but he's far away so I please myself as I please.

I reach down and stroke the ready button and the shock of my cold fingers on my warm clit sends a shudder through me that forces my thighs together, increasing the pressure, the feeling...

I stroke myself slowly, leisurely, eyes closed... thinking of the last time we made love... the sensation of his cock sliding in and out of me... I try to replicate that sensation with a finger slid into my pussy. It comes nowhere near his thickness, but it helps.

I breathe quickly as I feel a pre-orgasm pull me closer... but I'm not in a hurry. I want to enjoy this time with my body. Learning it all over again, discovering new things to share with him the next time... wondering if I'll squirt again this time... wondering what he'll say if he knew what I was doing.

So I call him.

"I want you to hear me come".

He drops what he's doing...

"Breathe baby..."

So I breathe, and I stroke and I squeeze and I touch as he tells me to. I cup my breasts and flick my nipples. I do it better than he would, but only because I know my body so well. He's still learning... I like teaching.

He listens to me as my breathing quickens and my body arches in a bow of exquiste pleasure. It's white hot, on the threshold of pain and I want it to never end. But end it must.

I explode and I come back to earth. I blow him a kiss and I fall asleep.

So you see I can't sleep naked. My body distracts me.

For All my Soccer/Football Fans...

2009-09-22T08:52:00.001+01:00

You NEED to read this man's blog!

That is all, carry on...

I'm Famous!!

2009-09-03T23:00:00.002+01:00

Ok not really... at least not yet. Lol.

My story has been featured on The Black Girl's Guide to Sex. I actually posted the same story here a while back but I didn't post the rest of it. I'll be posting the rest of it there if you guys want to read it. Go over and show Seattle Slim some love. She's one sexy....

<3

It's Been a Minute...

2009-08-30T23:22:00.006+01:00

So I've been away, I could have written but some days I was too satisfied and other days I wasn't. I have so much to tell and nothing to tell. I don't know, should I keep blogging?

I'm getting bored with being anonymous.

I'm writing a book, it's fiction, but it's loosely based on certain people. The male protagonist is the distilled essence of the best of all the men I've ever loved and I've fallen so hopelessly in love with him... with words on paper. My own creation. Crazy... I find myself wishing he existed, but then he'd be too perfect and I'll get scared and run off screaming. I wonder what TBF will think...

"Babe, I'm leaving you for a guy I made up who incidentally has your build and your sense of humor."
"Really? Crazy babe."
"I'm serious."
"I know (snigger). You have issues sha, so when am I gonna see you?"

Should I be upset that he ignores the fact that I'm completely mad and loves me anyway? *Smiling softly to myself*

Where was I? Oh yeah the book. I've been pretty engrossed in it for the last few days and it's coming along nicely. I thought about putting snippets of it here, but my ego is much to fragile to take any criticism over it.

I seem to be up against a wall lately, me, Lowlah. The girl who is never lost for words has finally decided to shut the fuck up and listen. IE I'm crippled by writers' block. I need inspiration.

Scribbles answered my call for inspiration and this is what was born of his (not so) innocent comment. I thank you my unwitting muse.

let our bodies get acquainted
before the air is tainted
turned blue with whispered lusts
silence violated by sweetened thrusts
where cold has lain and empty has flourished
my senses dripped intentiions have nourished
reawakened, revived
the drought I have survived
speak freely to my secret place
come out and play oh darkened lace
let me touch you where I ought not
let me be the girl that fought not
or fought yes if how you like it
response is dull we'll spike it
so whisper... whisper to me
mister

So enough about me, I want to know how you guys are doing, really doing. Share.

Miss Lowlah <3

Fiction...

2009-07-24T23:17:00.002+01:00

Christmas eve...

I get off the train and there he is, dapper as always. Wearing his hat. He looks at me over his glasses and he grins. It's snowing and I'm bundled up in layers but he's looking at me like he can see through my clothes. This isn't the same grin from before. The grin from when we were friends, he was the big brother, voice of reason, goofball.

His grin tonight says, "you know it's just you and me tonight right?"

I shiver, but not from the cold.

We share a perfunctory hug, still being overly formal as we wait for a taxi to take us there.

There are lots of silences as we fall in each others eyes mid-sentence. His eyes mirror mine, desire, fear, questions... are we really doing this? Our laughs are short and sharp and our breathing is shallow.

My heart is beating so loud I can hear it in my ears. You sense my apprehension and you take my hand, it's only natural for me to lean in to you.

Our taxi arrives and we sit close to each other in the back seat, a little easier now, whittling away the layers that the year apart put between us with conversation. Your acerbic wit stings my consciousness and slowly, we become us again. Slowly we lose our shyness... and finally, tentatively... you kiss me. So lightly on my nose.

That gesture is so ridiculously intimate that for a moment I'm speechless. I smile shyly and lay my head on your shoulder.

We pull up at the hotel, you take my bags. Miss Independent that I am, I insist on taking them myself. You laugh at me and kiss me on the cheek.

In the elevator we chat more freely, small talk mostly. My mind is racing, still trying to decide. Then I open the door to our room and my mind is made up for me.

I need some discipline tonight/I've been very bad...

Is flowing out from unseen speakers, the flickering light of candles illuminate the bed that you have covered with...

a tray of sushi?

I can't help but laugh and clap my hands in glee. Where other guys would have sprinkled roses, you got me sushi. My inhibitions slide off with my clothes.

You open the bottle of chardonnay by the bed and hand me a flute. I sit beside you in my jeans and t-shirt... and your hat.

We talk, we sip, we nibble, we listen...

We touch each other lightly, our touches accompanying laughs and sarcasm.

The alcohol, the music, the warmth and the comfort I feel with you lull me to sleep.

I'm on Twitter...

2009-07-24T23:05:00.001+01:00

This is so late but I'm on Twitter. Follow me :)

Another One Bites the Dust...

2009-07-24T14:46:00.002+01:00

I'm not sure, but I think we...?

How do I feel?

I don't know. Numb? Yeah.

It was such a stupid thing to fight over but I'm stubborn and my pride wouldn't let me back down.

How do I feel? Crushed...

Where are the tears? They died. I made that promise ages ago, so I'm not going to break it now.

This vacation could not have come at a better time.

How do I feel? Alone.

Martinis anyone?

Lagos, this weekend?

2009-07-22T16:33:00.003+01:00

So I'm coming to Lagos this week. If anyone is interested in meeting up send me an email. My email address is in my profile.

Here's to seeing old friends and making new ones.

ML

2 Days Ago...

2009-07-15T19:10:00.003+01:00

Blame it on the goose
Got you feeling loose
Blame it on the 'tron
Got you in the zone
Blame it on the a-a-a--

"Hello?"
"'Sup ML"
"Who is this?"
"IB"

Fuck!

Birthday Blues

2009-07-07T02:45:00.002+01:00

This must be the first birthday I've had where I just wanted to let it pass like any other day. I always make a fuss and let everyone know it's my birthday cos I loved the attention, but this year signals growing up. Agewise anyway. I think I'll postpone my birthday till September when my life will be mine again. I'll take the birthday sex now though ;)

I'm in such a weird mood, I'm pretty sure my cancer is showing.

I'm feeling very blah. I miss my boyfriend and I wish he was here. I don't wanna celebrate finally leaving childhood behind. I'll miss the security of making mistakes knowing that "ah, she's young" will cover it.

Oh well... you all are invited to my super belated birthday in September. I think I'll be happy then :)

Bonne anniversaire et feliz cumpleanos to me.

Of Violence and Lust

2009-06-25T00:42:00.003+01:00

I'm writing as myself today, and not as Miss Lowlah.

I know most of you that read this blog have read Vic's blog and if you haven't, you better head over there. You won't regret it.

The reason I mentioned her blog is because she has written quite a few times of situations where violence and lust are linked in subtle ways. This post goes some way in explaining what I mean, maybe not overtly but the meaning is there.

I'd say Vic and I are good friends but we're different. However, I was reflecting tonight and I realised that I was more like her than I thought, in that I get a kick out of violence. I know y'all are confused (especially you Vic) but stay with me and you might get what I'm trying to say.

I was never abused as a child, nor was anybody that I was close to (that I know of). I never saw any man close to me raise his hands to hit a woman, and I never saw any woman close to me hit by a man. I never saw any woman mistreated. In fact, all around me, good examples abounded.

So here's what I want to know. Why does the threat of violence make me want him? Why is it that when he raises his voice in anger, I want nothing more than to fuck him till I hurt? Why is it that I fantasize about being raped? Why is it that when I think of passion in relationships, I think of fights and violent sex?

I think of sex and in my mind's eye I see glass breaking, skin tearing, pussy bruising, hair pulling, screaming... I don't think of beauty or tenderness or love. I want angry sex.

The day my feelings for Goofy went from platonic to physical, was the day he put his hands on me. Look at how we started... there was no way we could ever end well. In fact, our end was as destructive and emotionally charged as our beginning (with less violence). I cried pretty much every week we were together.

In retrospect, I understand that I should have run in the beginning, before I was broken, my self esteem shattered... before I lost my friends and my head. Before my lovelife became a game of "hurt them before they hurt me".

We'd been friends since my first day of college, and he was kinda like a girlfriend or an annoying little brother. I never thought of him in a sexual way. As far as I was concerned, he was sexless.

We were pretty close. I considered him my best friend, which is odd because I didn't tell him secrets. I didn't share hopes or dreams with him. All he knew about me was what he could see. But we were close and he made me laugh, and I was so comfortable with him. We gave each other pet names and always ended our conversations with "love you boo". He was just like my brother and I loved him as such.

It all changed one day, early in my junior year. I was goofing around as I usually do with him, but he was in a bad mood. I went ahead and played a practical joke on him anyway. His reaction shocked the hell out of me. Prior to this, we'd never for one moment been mad at each other. We'd never had a single fight.

He turned around and shoved me hard into the wall and then walked away. I was in shock, I couldn't speak. I was angry, humiliated, sad... I didn't know how to react. I called him back and asked what he was thinking, he curtly replied that he was in a bad mood and I shouldn't have done that. No remorse, no apology... nothing.

So I left. I had nothing to say to him. I walked away determined to shut him out of my life. I'd always promised myself that the day a man laid his hands on me... it was over. That shit would never fly with me.

I cried for hours, my Goofy had put his hands on me. How could he? In the midst of all the turmoil in my mind, some part of me (Miss Lowlah) was thinking: "phwoar! didn't Goofy look sexy when he was mad?" I know... I have issues.

The next day, he tried to see me, call me, talk to me, but I wouldn't let him. He begged and pleaded. Apologized... even got my friends in other countries to call me and beg on his behalf. He was so remorseful. He'd never in a million years hurt me, he said. He swore it'd never happen again. He kept his promise though, and he never did put a hand on me. The only pain he ever caused me after that was emotional. But I honestly can't tell you what hurt more.

I stayed strong for about a week. But then my curiousity got the better of me. I'd never seen that side of him before. I started to wonder what he'd be like in bed... Also I missed him. In the two years since I knew him, we'd never gone a day without talking to each other. Even on our holidays, we'd run up huge phone bills talking across the atlantic. People at our uni assumed we were dating and got so used to seeing us together that when we didn't speak for that week, even strangers noticed. He got stumbling drunk one night because I was still mad at him and came up to me still trying to explain. I couldn't bear seeing him in a state so I decided to forgive him.

So I called him a few days later and told him we were cool and he ran down to my room to hug me. The funny thing was, I felt really awkward around him that day. This was Goofy that had seen me looking a hot mess on several occasions, who I goofed around with all the time and all of a sudden, there was this sexual tension between us.

I pecked him goodbye on the lips and he looked as confused as I was. I went away before he had time to analyse the situation, asking myself "what the fuck am I doing?"

He was at my door a few moments later and we just kind of stared at each other for several minutes. Eventually Lowlah (that bitch) spoke up and said "are you going to kiss me or not?"

And then he kissed me, but it didn't feel weird at all. In fact, it felt fucking awesome.

Too bad the rest of our "relationship" sucked ass.

I tend to go for dangerous looking guys, the ones that look like they can crush me with one hand. If, however, they turn out to be nice, sweet, decent guys, I lose interest... until the day I make them mad and then I jump on them... well I used to.

I was with this guy who is much older than me, for a few months, and I think I can safely say that we argued every single day. I loved it because I thought that drama equalled passion, but I got tired of it really quickly when I realised that we were spending too much time fighting, and not enough time having sex. In fact the only type of sex we had was makeup sex.

I should really thank him, he weaned me off that bad habit and made me realise that a relationship is more than passionate fights and make up sex.

That relationship ended with me driving off and stranding him at a restaurant.... ah... good times.

I guess at this point, I'm still figuring out what it is to be in a relationship, a real one. I'm figuring out what it means to be somebody's girlfriend and what it is to be totally naked and open to another person (all this and I'm still not getting any :()

When I was with Goofy, I cried within the first few days of us being together and regularly after that. I was insecure with him and I felt so low most of the time. I craved his approval and a dismissive remark from him would have me down for days... I can't remember how many times I slammed the door in his face, or hung up on him and told him it was over. I wasted so much fucking energy over those 2 years. It's no wonder that I aced my first three years of college and barely scraped through the last one (still managed to graduate with honours though... Yes. I'm that awesome).

With TBF, it's been months and I haven't cried once, nor have I ever had a reason to feel insecure. I know that to a lot of people, that's normal in a relationship... but to me, it's a big huge deal. I mean if you look at my track record, you'll understand why I'm treating this relationship like a fragile little egg.

I'm pretty sure I had a point when I started to write this post... oh well I'm tired now and I've got shit to do tomorow... night night y'all...

Lowlah ...<3

And Now He Won't Leave Me Alone- The End!

2009-06-20T22:00:00.003+01:00

So I decided to suck it up and finish this in one post. I'm quite pissed it took so much time to relate this story when there are far more important things to be discussed. Oh well, here's the end...

**LONG POST ALERT**

I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him, much less be warm but I tried my best. It was hard!!!!

We got home and I fed him dinner. I set him up on the couch and then retired to my bedroom for the night. I was nearly asleep, when he entered my bedroom and attempted to install himself on my bed. Shooooo…. E be like say bobo don crase oh.

I very firmly told him to remove himself to the living room that I was trying to sleep. He tried the old moves from spring break, but I wasn’t gonna let it happen this time. I got off the bed and asked him to leave again. Eventually, he got it through his thick skull that I wasn’t joking and stomped into the living room, angry.

I locked the door and slept fitfully, just in case he tried anything again. The next morning, I woke up and left for work. When I came back, he wasn’t home and I had a few moments to myself. However, he returned a few hours later in the company of another dude. He introduced us, but I couldn’t even crack a smile. I was in my old, worn, around the house clothes and I hate meeting strangers when I’m in sloth mode. I also hate it when people bring strangers to my house without at least informing me first. It’s just rude!

Earlier in the day, I’d called him to ask what he wanted for dinner and he asked for Gbegiri, so when I got back from work, instead of relaxing, I spent ages making the gbegiri only for him to tell me he wasn’t hungry. I was too tired to be angry, so I rolled my eyes and went to sit down.

IB tried to get through to me. He pulled me in his lap and tried to talk to me… I think I dozed off. Eventually, I went to my room to sleep.

I was woken up a few hours later, by him dragging a chair into my room. He plonked it down right in front of me and said “we have to talk.”

I looked at him, looked at the time and told him I had work in the morning. He stomped out again, frustrated.

The next day was the day he was leaving and I couldn’t help but feel relieved. I said goodbye to him as I was leaving for work and that’s the last time I saw him.

So over the next while, he kept up with the IM’s and calls and stuff, but I always found excuses to cut them short. I just wasn’t interested in talking to him. I have another blog, totally unlike this one, and he would leave comments there that were inappropriate. The first time, he sent a comment pretending to be Goofy and the second time, he wrote a comment once again declaring his love for me. Now this is a fashion blog so I asked him to stop commenting.

Just before I moved back to Europe, he sent me an IM saying I was annoying. I don’t even know why I responded, but I felt like pissing him off so I wrote back “I’m annoying? Yet you’re the one that keeps bugging me.”

And then he began again with the insults, he called me retarded, said I needed to be delivered etc etc… my girlfriend and I were hanging out that day so we took it in turns to respond and giggle over what he wrote. Basically the gist of our responses was “dude, I don’t like you. Leave me alone now… is it by force? Please now leave me alone…”

He got angrier and angrier… he even went as far as to send me messages on facebook and then removed me as his friend (he tried to add me again weeks later)

After that convo, I blocked him from everythin. IM, facebook, phone etc...

I started a mental countdown and sure enough, a few days later my phone rang. I was preparing to leave for Europe and it was a private number so I thought it was my mum calling to confirm my flight arrangements.

ML: Hello?
Nothing… then I hung up.
It happened several times so I stopped answering. The night before my flight, I got another private call. I was sure it was my mum this time so I answered again.

ML: Hello
IB: What’s up ML?
ML: (Incredulously) Who is this?
IB: It’s IB
ML: *Prolonged hiss then click*

And he called back, but of course I didn’t answer this time.

I got to Europe and forgot about him. A few weeks later, I got this email (edited to protect privacy)

I have to tell u a habit or an MO of mine. I recently discovered that whenever am at odds with somebody that I profoundly care about I get all feisty and start a fight with them. The ones that know me very well recognize that am not exactly fighting them but that its how badly I miss them that makes act that way. I don’t think am ever going to stop loving you. I and my friends took a road trip yesterday and we were arguing about the kinda girl we like and I told them how my ideal chick is Miss Lowlah. I think about u all the time, I miss the hell out of you. I don’t wanna be close to u half and half. If you were here I would kneel on one knee and ask u to marry me, just that we wud have to roll up a piece of paper to make the ring. Trust me, if u were mine, all these things wud be different we wud never fight for a day. All the time I pick a fight with u is cos I really do miss u. You make me feel the way no one else does. Like Mariah carey said, “If its wrong to love you, then my heart would never let me be right” I miss u ML. I happen to still have u home number in Europe and I have tried it a couple of times to no avail.

Attached to this message was a close-up of my face that he’d nicked from my blog. Creepy…

I showed TBF the message and then I forgot about it.

A few more weeks passed then IB emailed me again. This time he sent the message to the address associated with my fashion blog. And then he emailed me again saying he was coming to Europe for his birthday that he wanted to see me so we could talk. I told him we had nothing to talk about and that he could only use that email address for blog related stuff.

I got this email just a few days ago… how many ways can you tell somebody to fuck off?

am sure u know that two wrongs dont make a right....if u eva prayed or wished that God send somebody that wud luv u unconditionally, I think he has answered that prayer. Am sure u were expecting he wud just show up just like that..no the road to happiness is not str8 and stressfree. We have had our own kind of bad times, misunderstanding, wrong choice of words, upsetting dispositions and states of mind..regardless of wat it is, it all falls into the much expected "bad times" but then after all it, I still love, i can actaully say that word and really mean it... I do love u. I miss u like crazy..u ve been gon for a minute and i still think abt u. I woke up at 4 this morning and all i ve thinkin abt is u. Pls pls, biko forgive me now? Everytime i meet a girl, i compare her to u and they always fall short. I ve searched all these months and i ve not found anybody that strikes me d way u do. try to hear me out...it is so bad that this morning i was seriously considering coming to Europe...we cud talk, ML and u can tell me all the things i do that upset u and i wud starting changing them immediately. I ve never been sure abt my feelings towards anyone.

I don’t respond to them but they keep coming. Fortunately he has no other means of contacting me besides my email. He knows what country I live in, but not the city. So I think I’m safe. If he tries anything, I have my big strong TBF to protect me.

(Just an aside, messages written in text language are a pet peeve of mine. I don't even text in text talk, Vic will tell you that I punctuate my texts and use whole words. I just threw that in here because his messages to me were written largely in text language and made me dislike him even more. I mean it's ok if you're texting me, but don't email me with text speak.)

From what I know of abusive men, they verbally or emotionally abuse you or beat you, then apologise and profess undying love and promise it will never happen again… until they do it again. Does anyone see a pattern here? I give it a few weeks until the insults start again.

He doesn't know that I have a boyfriend, because I severed all ties with him as best as I could and as such, he knows nothing of my present life. I wouldn't put it past him to try something idiotic as he was especially venomous toward Goofy in the past.

And that's the end of that. *Phew*

...<3

And Now He Won't Leave Me Alone- Part 4

2009-06-19T16:24:00.001+01:00

I'm getting so bored with this story and it's longer than I thought it would be. I have it all typed out on my computer already and I considered just plonking it all at once... but that won't work. *Sigh* Anyway, continuing...

I can’t remember what it was I said to him, but I know it wasn’t very nice. I think I mentioned stuff about our friendship being over and how he was an arrogant jerk and that I had never intended to sleep with him and it was a big mistake that would never happen again. Then I told him to go fuck himself because I would not be doing it for him ever again. Vic was with me that day and asked why I was so mad, we’d just met so I gave her a heavily censored version of events and she cursed him out for me too (I heart Vic, later when I found out how evil she was, I told her the whole story and she cursed him out some more ).

A few days later, he sent me an IM saying he’d be in the city and would I meet him?
I said no of course.
On my birthday, Vic, my girlfriends, Goofy and I went to the city and took lots of lovely pictures which I plastered all over facebook. IB saw the pics and was very angry because:

1. I was with Goofy and
2. I was in the city the same weekend he was but didn’t call or write

A few days later, I received a very terse IM from him saying he didn’t care about me anymore (wait, he actually “cared” about me? I thought it was my pussy he wanted) and that I should go screw myself.
My response: You first  then I logged out.

Fast forward to a few days later and my phone rings. Guess who?

Yup.

I answered without looking the first time. That awful hybrid accent filled my auditory cavity with pleas for forgiveness. But I wasn’t having it.

It didn’t matter how many times I hung up on him, this dude called back with declarations of love, pleas for forgiveness, explanations for his behaviour etc.
He told me he was just jealous of Goofy, and that I’d surprised him a bit too. He didn’t expect me to be so foul-mouthed (?) and that he was shocked when he heard me swear. That he’d thought I was perfect and quiet. But he understands now that I’m real and he loves me and blah blah blah…

Still I wasn’t having it.

For weeks this boy begged me. Eventually I caved and said I wasn’t angry with him, that it was cool. He started calling me again regularly as if we were still friends and all that, but I just couldn’t bring myself to give a shit about anything he said.

Winter came, and he had to be in my ends for some conference or something. He asked if he could stay with me.

I said Ok.

I picked him up from the airport and everything went downhill from there.

And Now He Won't Leave Me Alone- Part 3

2009-06-18T13:07:00.004+01:00

So the shit hit the fan… but not in the way you’d expect.

During the course of that week, we had sex a few times and hung out quite a bit. It was fun, but I was also prepared for things to end as soon as the break was over. I didn’t want a relationship with IB. I wanted things to go back to normal as soon as I was out of there.

While I was there, I cooked for him (because I had to eat), tidied his apartment (I can’t be in a messy place) and taught him how to make chicken curry (I’m not heartless, I don’t want him to starve). Ok I was just showing off. People look at me and imagine I’m spoiled and can’t do shit. He thought so too until I wowed him with groundnut soup, ogbono soup, meatpies, efo, etc. I made him enough food to last him a month.

During that week, IB was very possessive of me. He called me his wife in front of his friends, was extremely touchy feely and was very jealous if I so much as mentioned another guy’s name in front of him. Once I accidentally called him by Goofy’s name and I thought he was going to lose it… lol. I wasn’t scared of him, I knew he’d never lay a hand on me.

We got into a few arguments during that time, so I guess in his head he was thinking we were a couple or something. Idiot. The worst was when we got into an argument over homosexuality. His take on it was that it was a sin, and that “all gays should be beaten up.” He also said, and I quote, “being gay is the first sign of bad decisions that happen throughout one’s life” he also called them “disgusting” and “useless”. The look on his face as he spewed this rubbish was ugly and my level of like for him dropped to almost nothing. Please tell me that all Naija boys don’t think this way…

Seriously fellas, just cos a guy is gay doesn’t mean he wants you or finds you attractive. Just the same as I’m a straight female, but I don’t want all the men I see. You dig? Also homosexuality is not contagious.

But I digress…

Anyway, the holiday came to an end, he dropped me off at the airport and I went back to school (senior year what!!) At school, I carried on as normal. We still kept in touch but I noticed that he called less, and answered my calls less. The conversations were briefer and kinda stilted. Being me, I took it as a sign and decided to forget about him altogether. First of all, I called him out on his neglect and then I peaced. I’d disrespected myself enough by sleeping with him, I wasn’t going to let him add to it by taking me for granted. So I fashied the dude.

Some time went by, and IB pulled his head out of his butt long enough to realize that I wasn’t on his dick and wondered what was going on. He started trying to reach out to me and act like I was in love with him. I kid you not.

It came to a head one day, when he IM’d me and cracked a lame joke. I didn’t find it funny. I guess it pissed him off because he snapped at me and called my attitude “repugnant”. I laughed and asked him what the fuck it was he wanted from me. He went on to say some other stuff AND THEN HE SAID!!!! That I was only acting bitchy because I liked him and he didn’t like me. When he said this, I told him to choose his next words carefully. He then went on to berate me for not getting my pubes waxed when I knew I would be having sex with him. How dare I? I know that he can’t stand such… etc… etc.

WTF?

Update: I added another thing to my birthday wishlist. I want an HD camera and some sick photo editing software to use for my fashion blog. Any takers?

...<3

And Now He Won't Leave Me Alone- Part Deux

2009-06-17T13:52:00.002+01:00

Soooooo....

The weird vibes reached a crescendo and I decided to put a stop to that nonsense.

My reactions are weird. I'm more likely to yell and curse when I'm irritated, but when I'm angry, I turn to ice. I get very polite and if I'm pushed further, then I'll explode. People that know me know that once I pour out the clipped tones and start addressing them by their full first names (see I give all my friends nicknames and never use the real ones) in every sentence, I'm about to explode.

So I asked IB very politely to please take me home. He was like, baby c'mon naaaa, why you wanna leave so early.. in his hideous hybrid igbo/yankee accent. I asked him again and he said ok. Went to his friends and they conversed in Igbo for a while, who the hell knows what they were talking about. I spat out a good bye and then stalked to the car. I was so mad I could barely speak.

He got in the car and started driving. Then he made a huge mistake. He started talking about my "fuck up" at his friend's place. I exploded and he was so stupidly oblivious to everything outside his penis that he didn't see it coming. I cursed him out so badly that the air in the car turned blue and he could only stare at me with his mouth open. He had no idea that I could get that mad.

ML: So you thought you were gonna get some from me tonight huh? What the fuck gave you that stupid idea? Do I seem like that kind of girl to you? How many times will I tell you that it will never happen, I'm not in the least bit attracted to you. How could you insult me so? Your southern sluts are not enough for you, you want to try with me? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!!!!

IB: *fish face*

I went on like that for the whole ride and climaxed with "don't fucking call me" as he was dropping me off. He was stunned. By that time, my anger was spent and I was amused. I flounced out of the car barely containing my giggles at the thought of his face. He tried to call me back, but I walked into my uncle's house and closed the door. He wasn't stupid enough to come into my uncle's house. He wasn't trying to get shot. Lol.

The next day I was cool, and he called me apologizing profusely. I accepted because I was about to head back to the east coast and I didn't have to see him again. We spoke occasionally on the phone afterward, he still declared his love for me etc etc. Nothing out of the ordinary. He tried to get me to come visit him a few times, even offering to pay for my ticket... hell to the no.

I didn't think I'd see him again. But then my senior year, spring break came and I decided to go to the south again. Some peeps and I were supposed to go to some resort, but it didn't happen and I ended up staying at my uncle's place for the week.

IB picked me up from the airport and took me to his place. I learned a lot of stuff about him while chilling at his crib, especially why I could never be with him. He was cheap for one thing, and he stuck gum everywhere.

I decided to stay at his place that first night, because once I got to my uncle's crib, I'd be pretty restricted.

That was my first mistake.

In fact from here on out, it was mistake city....

1. I offered to sleep in the living room, but IB insisted I share his bed... and I agreed.
2. When he kept stroking me in the middle of the night, instead of getting my things and leaving, I stayed and shrugged him off.
3. When I started to get really horny, instead of praying or taking a cold shower, I let him kiss me.
4. When he started to head down south, instead of flying off the bed, I closed my eyes and enjoyed it.

I have no excuse. I was horny.... and single.

and 5. When he led me to the shower, instead of resisting, I followed him.

I took off my clothes and jumped in the shower with him. I let him touch me and kiss me.

I let him fuck me. And then I fucked him.

I rationalised the whole thing to myself.

I can't stand him, but so what? His dick is impressive, we're both adults, I can handle no strings sex... but he'll gloat about this. He's tried to get me for so long, and now he has. He'll rub it in my face forever...

That conversation was between me and Miss Lowlah and Miss Lowlah won, and she had some great sex that night. It was surprisingly good... I'm disgusted at how good it was.

Then the shit hit the fan.

Insomnia

2009-06-14T04:22:00.002+01:00

It's pitiful, but I was asleep before 11 yesterday and ended up waking up at 2.20am. It's 4.11am and I haven't been able to go back to sleep, but I did somehow manage to nearly get run over by my mum in that time... don't ask. My sis also accidentally spilled hot water on me two days ago, so I'm wondering if my family is actually out to get me? (I'm joking oh!! They'd never hurt me :) )

Now I'm wide awake and I have no idea what to do with myself. Normally I'd call TBF and inflict my pain on him, but he needs his sleep these days... working man and all. I miss him :(

My brother is still not speaking to me. He does have a good reason to be mad at me. TBF is one of his close friends. I knew this before we started dating, but TBF and I have had this thing for a good while now... even before they got close. I'm hoping he'll understand eventually, but in the meantime he barely speaks to me and just grunts one word answers at me if I talk to him. Because I'm his sister, I'm torn between giving him space and reeeeeeaaally getting on his nerves. I compromise and do both. I cook the food he eats, so he has to be at least vaguely nice to me. Hehe... I really want him to stop being mad at me. I know it's really weird for him, but I hope he gets over it. Men of blogsville, I don't want your opinion here.

Oh I'm still celibate, dunno if I mentioned that recently. I've actually forgotten what sex feels like...

So anyway, I made a recording of a folktale (with added tweaks) but then I forgot to put it up. Silly me. I'll do it later in the day.

I'm not even hungry... what a shame. Usually I go on midnight eating binges with my girlfriends (God bless my metabolism) if I'm up this late. Boooo... it's the day after food shopping too when there's a lotta good stuff about. You know it's supposed to last for the week, but it's gone in two days. Lol.

I'm gonna go watch TV or something. Hopefully that dry British humor will put me to sleep.

And I was right... L-VII you are delish (no homo... ok maybe small homo :P)...

...<3

Very Important!!!!!!!!!

2009-06-13T19:18:00.002+01:00

Hi Guys,

I'm changing my URL to lowlahsdebaucherie.blogspot.com so if you have me on your bloglist, please update it. The change will be effective tonight. Well right now actually... ok in a few hours. Peace!

And Now He Won't Leave Me Alone- Part 1

2009-06-11T13:52:00.005+01:00

TBF says I like the attention, but honestly this guy- let's call him IB- scares me a bit. He's delusional and narcissistic and kinda unhinged. He also has the tendencies of a wife beater... ok let me start from the beginning.

I met IB about 5 years ago now, in the summer after my freshman year of Uni. I wasn't even 18 yet, still young and fresh and totally clueless, but already jaded and sure I knew all about men and their games. I met him through some girlfriends of mine. I don't remember much of that meeting except that he didn't really stand out to me in any way. He wasn't hideous or anything, but I was more interested in his friend (nothing ever came of that). I think it was on my birthday, my friends had taken me out that day and we were crashing at his.

The second meeting was at his birthday. He'd invited my friends and made sure I came along too. I still liked partying then so I went along. I remember that day. It was so swelteringly hot that by evening, I'd had to shower three times. Gosh I miss Yankee summers. I even remember what I was wearing, I was dressed in a tshirt with my sorority letters on it and a very brief skirt (my booty is small so I can get away with that). Even at night time and in that outfit, I was melting. It was worse than Naija...

At his party, he paid special attention to me, though I didn't realise it then. I remember throwing a tantrum about something (I was immature, what can I say) that was totally not his fault and he left his party to come soothe me. It was... ok someone's stalking my family, keep calling and hanging up. Not cool...

Ok where was I? Yeah party...
So we were dancing to a song, I made a point of not grinding too hard because my friends were there and they were extremely good girls. So I promise I wasn't rubbing too hard on the dude, but he got a hard on. I didn't think anything of it cos I figured it was normal (I don't grind anymore, the thought of a stranger's thing on my back grosses me out).

So I didn't think anything of it and didn't even remember it afterward, but apparently it had been preying on his mind because a few days later, he sent me an IM apologizing profusely for his behaviour, yada yada yada... I was not sure what he was referring to, then he specified the hard on incident. I laughed so hard and told him it wasn't a big deal. But it really bothered him because he'd been trying to make a good impression on me blah blah blah... I told him not to worry about it because it really wasn't a big deal. I actually thought that he must be a virgin since he was reacting that way. Lol.

Somehow we built up a friendship and this man started declaring his love for me, how he loves the way I carry myself, I'm so classy, I speak so well, I'm pretty, I remind him of his girlfriend (yes he had a long term girlfriend in a different state). It was so serious tha he even called me when I went to Europe later in the summer. The state I schooled in was different than where he lived so we only kept in touch via phone and IM. I uesd to write poems on an online blog and the comments he would leave... talking about the beauty of my soul, the depth of my spirit... I was 18!! Boys I knew did not woo girls like that. In fact, they did not woo girls. They just tried to get in their pants.

I didn't take IB seriously because I wasn't attracted to him, he was too intense and he was just not my type, looks wise, personality wise. Nahhhhh... but we were friends and he told me everything. EVERYTHING! Especially shit I had no business knowing and didn't want to know.

He was disrespectful of women, judgemental, cheated on his girlfriends. I called him out on the cheating and asked why it wass okay for him to cheat but not his girl... he said it wasn't the same thing. Was he fucking kidding me?

He was a player type dude and he was used to getting girls, but he turned me off totally the way he talked about women. I was the only person that could scold him that he'd listen to and apparently, the only female not in his family that he respected. I would always say to him "IB, do you think you're making yourself more attractive to me by being a jerk?" and he'd give me some sheepish reply.

I just figured he was not used to sexual freedom (he's been in a seminary school) and was abusing it, but I hoped eventually he'd calm down for his sake and that of his future wife.

Thanksgiving break of my sophomore year, I decided to go south to see some relatives. He happened to be in the area and I decided to meet up with him. He picked me up from my uncle's house and we were supposed to go see a movie, but instead, he took me to his friends' place. Why? I don't know. Being the idiot I was, I thought I was invincible so I didn't freak out or anything. Just went with the flow. We stopped somewhere and I bought dinner and fed him and his friends. They seemed ok... I wouldn't hang with them normally, but I wasn't threatened by them.

After a while, I noticed that they were clearing out , as if to give us space. Then I noticed IB starting to get a little too close... what the fuck?

Update: TBF says I can't post the rest of the fantasies on here. Sorry... also, I'm on fantasy writing strike till he sends me one.

I'm also changing my URL soon (not getting a domain or anything) but I'm changing it because I decided I hate this one. If you have me on your bloglist, I'd appreciate it if you update when I change. The new URL will be lowlahsdebaucherie.blogspot.com Thank you!

...<3

My Dark Angel...

2009-06-09T02:40:00.002+01:00

Angel...
Could you love me now like you did then?
Angel...
Are we done, are we destined to be just friends?
Angel...
Sugar, honey, baby, did what we had mean nothing to you?
Angel...
The words you spoke, were they untrue?

Ex...
I refuse to call you that name
Ex...
It reeks of finality, smacks of... loss... pain...
Ex...
I am beyond saddened by your indifference
Ex...
Smile at me, remember when...

Hey...
It's passed I'm not thinking bout you right now
Hey...
I remember, doesn't mean I want it back now
Hey...
I see you, my heart's still still, it's only you
Hey...
Sorry, it forgot that me was once me and you

Later...
I'm leaving again, I know I'll come back but
Later...
I won't feel so low, or so sad or so hurt
Later...
My smile will return, my heart will rejoice and
Later...
I'll see you, but I'm leaving now... by choice...

Smile for me suga-hunny...

...<3

I'm getting so old...

2009-06-07T23:31:00.004+01:00

*Sigh*

In exactly a month, I will be a year older. My siblings tease me and call me old fashioned. They say I'm old because I grunt when I sit down, I complain about sagging pants, I don't like their music and I use "outdated slang"

Fuck that! I'm barely into my third decade on this earth. I'm still a PYT. The PYT. Gravity and I are not even on nodding terms yet. Hopefully I don't have to worry about that for a few decades. My mum reminds me constantly that she was this age when she got married and had me. I laugh at her and say, seriously, would you trust me with an egg, much less a baby? Lol. I'm actually really great with babies, it's toddlers and kids up to 13 that I can't stand. Except my sis. She's lovely.

Anyhoo, the point of this post is to canvass for presents. I'm putting my wishlist on here in case someone that loves me wants to buy me pressies. I showed it to my mum. She laughed and said I could have an egg. Not funny.

So I want... crap I dunno what I want. I wanted to ask for a new laptop, but I got a new one already. My old one had a bad adaptor. I sent it off to be replced but instead my insurance is giving me a new one. God bless white people and their policies. Say dis kin tin happun for naija....

Ok I want:
1. iTunes vouchers. I lost all my music and I'm afraid of having all the stuff on my iPod wiped off when I try to sync in to my new one. Does anyone know how to move music from iPod to computer?

2. Shoes are always good. The higher and weirder looking the better.

3. Purses, my new obsession.

4. Ditto sunglasses.

5. A B.O.B that is rechargable. Batteries are not that cheap ya know...

6. Butt implant surgery (j/k! j/k!)

7. Big funky earrings

8. Story ideas for this blog

9. Perfume. I'm down to my last few bottles

10. Er... I dunno... a blackberry?

People always ask me what I want but I never know what I want because when I think of it I have everything I want and need, including all the stuff in the list above. Well except the iTunes vouchers. Oh wait I want a car. Yeah. Other than that I'm good.

Oh right... gist.

Today was my cousin's christening and it was really good. I was drowning in jollof rice and other chops. I didn't even get to eat till late because as family, I was basically the hostess.... you know how naija families are. It was the standard naija party format. Weird old ladies exclaiming over your looks and asking about when you're getting married and kids and all, pervy men old enough to be your father hitting on you, children tormenting you for another slice of cake, broken dishes, people packing food home in plastic bags... you know the usual ish. I was wearing this really gorgeous dress that I designed and had made the last time I was in Naij. I know it was gorgeous because people could not stop staring. (At first I thought I had something in my teeth but I checked and they were cool. Not a hint of green in sight). It got really weird when some random lady started snapping pictures of it because she wanted to make the same style. Of course that put me off the dress totally. I can't be rocking the same ish as an old lady. My aunt stormed in and demanded that woman pay me royalties for using my design. The dress was really long and picked up every spill and stain on the floor. But gosh darn it I looked good!

Omo mennn the jollof rice and meat pie are calling my name. I gotta go do some justice. TBF if you come back and I'm really fat, it's your fault for running off to Gidi sans moi...

Oh I'm going to Naij in a few days if everything goes according to plan. Haven't been since xmas of 07 and I can't wait!

Now should I get a Dell, Toshiba or Sony?

...<3

Business as Usual part 1

2009-06-05T02:16:00.003+01:00

Every night, I write out a fantasy of mine and email it to TBF so it's the first thing he sees when he gets to work. The thought of him at work with a hard-on... I'm not a very nice person I know. This is one of the tame ones. I write my fantasies in the present tense so he gets caught up in it... kinda like it's happening in real time. I'm not too concerned about grammer here, the short sharp bursts of sentences are meant to convey the sexual urgency I would be feeling if I was actually acting out this fantasy. I'll post part 2 if TBF gives me permission.

I come to your office wearing a white shirt and a tight high waisted skirt. Underneath, I have on a lace bra, garter and stockings from Victoria’s secret… but no panties. I’m wearing that fragrance you like. You know the one that smells of coconuts and vanilla… the one that makes you want to eat me. On my feet I have 4 inch pointy heels. In my purse I have… well wait and see.

Your secretary buzzes me in, you’re startled. You had no idea I was in the country. I lock the door behind me, walk up to your desk and place my palms on it. I lean over just enough that you can see a hint of… you smile at me… that smile. The one you give me when Stephen is in the building. As I see the smile, I feel a trickle begin to run down my thigh. I don’t want to waste the wetness, I want you to feel and taste every drop. But I hold myself… I steel myself and prolong this beautiful torture.

In all this time we haven’t said a word. I haven’t seen you in a while but you look so good. I just want to gobble you up. You’re dressed in a blue shirt and black pants. I can see your muscles barely containing themselves under the smooth fabric. I see another muscle straining for my attention too…
You make as if to talk, but I hush you. Let’s not spoil this. I hold your gaze as I walk around the desk. Slow… measured strides. Till I’m standing beside you. I push your chair back from your desk and sit in front of you. So close, but not touching. I slowly start to unbutton my shirt. You make as if to say something again but I silence you with a kiss. A deep, wet, I-know-you-missed-me kind of kiss. A step-into-my-soul type of kiss. As I kiss you, I run my hands over your chest and feel the hardness under your shirt. You feel good, but I want to feel skin. I smile to myself, my big hunky man with the baby soft skin.

I unbutton your shirt and pull it off you. Oh… you feel so good. I breathe in your scent as I nibble hungrily on your neck. I am intoxicated. You groan softly as I nibble on your earlobe. Yeah… you like that don’t you. Enough play. I love you, but I’m really here to see Stephen.

My greedy hands reach for your belt and make short work of it. I’m almost panting at the thought of what lies under that zipper. With the speed and stealth of a prison break, Stephen is freed and there he is in all his glory. Eagerly straining toward me. His head glistening with that little bit of precum… I respond with some glistening of my own. I picture you inside me and I nearly orgasm from the mindfuck… and you haven’t even touched me yet.

I get on my knees to pay homage. I’m drooling as I bend close to tongue kiss Stephen… but at that instant the phone rings...

...<3

Teedra Moses and the Foreign Exchange- Why am I just hearing about them?

2009-06-03T21:44:00.003+01:00

She is one deserving artist that hasn't gotten enough play. There are so many of them... looks like I've found my soundtrack album for the summer...

This song puts me in mind of late evening sunshine, cool breezes, beach sand, cold beer...

Seriously Speaking contd.

2009-06-02T14:33:00.002+01:00

Contd from here

I love the reaponses this is getting and I'd like to keep them coming. I'm seeing lots of varied opinions. I just wanted to add a few things that I didn't mentiion before.

TBF and I do pray together and it's always been in Jesus' name. I feel that growing up as he did, he was very exposed to my religion, but i was never exposed to his so he understands the processes I go through and is comfortable in a chuirch. I on the other hand, know very little about Islam but this hasn't caused any problems for us.

I noticed that everyone has been focusing more on the interreligious aspect of the relationship than the intertribal. Is it that it is now such a non-issue that people won't address it, or is religion just a larger and more pressing issue?

I actually haven't ever dated anyone from my village, tribe, street and most of my boyfriends have been Yoruba and if we had problems, it was more due to personality issues than tribal issues. I spent a good part of my life in Lagos anyway and was more exposed to other cultures than mine. I don't understand why after my varied upbringing, my folks expect I'll go find some random Johnny in the village to marry. O di kwa very ridiculous!

Thank God arranged marriages are not as prevalent these days or I might be in trouble... like how in Nigerian movies they show some rich or political family forcing their child to marry another rich or political family.

My last name is well known in my village, tribe, street community and I'm supposed to marry another known last name. To that I say LWKM, family please!

But fate is a funny thing...

Thoughts?

....<3

Seriously Speaking- Intertribal and Interreligious Relationships.

2009-06-01T23:05:00.006+01:00

Hi Blogsville,

I want to have a discussion with you guys and ask a question that has preyed on my mind almost since I first met TBF.

I'm a Christian and TBf is Muslim. does anybody see anything wrong in that?

Before we started dating, I told TBF I wanted a nice drama free grown up relationship and he agreed with me and I very stupidly thought that this could actually happen. I closed my eyes to the fact that we are of different tribes and different religions. TBF is Yoruba and I am not.

My parents set some very strict guidelines about who I should marry (tribe, village, street lol) and although I know they would be pleased if I end up with a guy from there, they'd accept whoever I brought home in the end.

One thing we never discussed was the religion of the person. I have no idea if my parents would be able to get past the idea of me being with a Yoruba muslim.

As our relationship is getting more serious and I'm starting to believe that this could actually last, these questions have started to plague my dreams. My family isn't really religious. We go to church and celebrate all the holidays but... you know.

The thing about TBF is that I forget a lot that he is Muslim and it doesn't bother me at all that he is. The way I see it, we serve the same God and we're both good people. Who are we hurting by being together?

I got especially anxious about this subject after talking about this with a born-again friend of mine. I let him have his say but I was not happy with what he said. The gist of it was that I was throwing away my salvation by dating a muslim and that I should try and get him "saved". HE IS NOT AN ATHEIST!! HE BELIEVES IN GOD TOO!! Even if he was atheist, it wouldn't mean a thing to me.

TBF has never put me down for being Christian or tried to talk me into converting. I've never done that to him either. Religion just isn't a deal breaker for either of us. He told me I didn't have to change religion if we were going to get married and we decided that our kids would go to both church and mosque till they were old enough to choose for themselves. I think that is very fair.

The conversation actually prompted me to google interreligious relationships. The recurring theme is that it depends on the couple and how strong they are in their commitment to and love for each other. You religion does not define you. It is part of who you are, yes, but it is not the whole package.

I was raised to be accepting of people regardless of race, creed or sexual orientation. There is too much hate in the world, I don't have to add anymore to it. I've been the victim of discrimination because of my colour and it is not good feeling. Why would I want to put that feeling on anyone else?

My mum knows about TBF but I don't think she knows he's muslim. Her sister is married to a muslim. Her kids were raised muslim but her daughter just got married to a christian man. However, the men were from the specified tribe, village, street etc. My dad is just not interested in my lovelife. As far he's concerned, I'll stay a virgin till I'm 60. :p

I have no problems with mixed marriages. Before moving to Obudu oyibo, I lived in Lagos where I mixed with people from every tribe and here I mixed with people of different races. In all this time, I hardly met people from my tribe, village, street much less dudes my age that I would be attracted to. In fact, it's a wonder I even ended up dating a black person, that was not just African, but also Nigerian!

I love TBF though. When I look at him, I see the kind, warm, funny, sweet, silly, spontaneous, smart, entertaining person that he is and not his tribe or religion. And when he looks at me, he sees sugar and spice (lol).

I'm running out of steam now, but what are your thoughts on interreligious and intertribal relationships?

What Is Love...?

2009-05-31T20:13:00.002+01:00

This is another piece I wrote when I was 18. It recently became relevant to me again when Boo (hereinafter known as The Boyfriend or TBF) asked me what love is...

My Secret
You're my little secret
That's how we always kept it
We loved our loves on the down low
But now it's so deep I want to show
The world how much you mean to me
How satisfying lustless passion can be
How innocence can be such fun
Your eyes radiate the heat of the sun

And melt the ice around my heart
And plant the seed of a smile, happiness starts
To blossom and envelop my soul
It shields me, protects me from the cold
My heart's so full that it could burst
For me, this is a first
I trust and trust totally
Though I know it's foolhardy

What use is life without the risks?
Lo... like is more than a quick fix
For the cracks, the frissons across the heart
As it slowly breaks apart
It heals, it seals, it binds forever
It promises to stick by you through whatever
It's fun and serious and simple but complex
Through everything, it puts you first

It's frightening, exhilarating, reassuring, nerve wracking
Endless, abrupt, it's like... emotions attacking
Stripping you bare leaving you exposed to
Hurt and pain but it hurts oh so good
The aftermath is mind numbing, quietly deadly
To spirit, soul, mind... it's dark and other worldly
Physical pain is nothing compared
To the end of love... but oh I digress...

There is beauty in lo... like, and evil and pain
Like poison it spreads from vein to vein
Till it invades you completely and you live and breathe it
And you fall into a dark, yet, promising pit
Of love, volumes and volumes are written
From infatuation, to obsession to just being smitten
All these have one thing in common
They lack the answer to the question

What is love....?

I'm back... <3

For BSNC- Pidgin English Audiopost and Yearbook Contd.

2009-05-12T14:29:00.004+01:00

Don't laugh :(

Yearbook Contd.

Shonavixen- Most likely to be accosted by random guys (and one random girl hehe) in the street begging to stroke your legs

Nice Anon- Most likely to understand my hunger for Mama Put and agege bread.

Tyger- Most likely to have me blow all my money on her clothing label (nne hook a sister up na...)

Dante- Most likely to make me think (and I'm a shoot first ask questions later type of woman)

TDVA- My love... most likely to share my lust for rugged looking men

Miss Fly High- Most likely to give Genevieve Nnaji a run for her money (and you know say that girl no dey play)

Roc- Most likely to get beaten up by irate readers waiting for the continuation of certain posts. (Hint, hint)

Luv you all, sorry for forgetting

Miss Lowlah... <3

Random and Pidgin Post

2009-05-12T13:02:00.002+01:00

Dudes!! I just found out that Kalu Ikeagwu is still single!!! I'm a bit too excited about this I know... lol. Now on to the koko of the matter. If you laugh, I'll beat you. Seriously I'll know if you laugh. It's coming up in the next post. ;)

My Yearbook

2009-05-09T21:54:00.002+01:00

Hi Blogsville :)

I've responded to your comments on my previous posts.

I'm doing a most likely to.. post today based on my perceptions of the bloggers I follow, and the ones on my blog roll. It's done in fun and not meant to offend anyone. It'd be cool if you wanna comment with what (or who hehe) you think Miss Lowlah would be most likely to do too or anything else really. If I forgot anyone, please let me know :)

Scribble Me Free- Most likely to go hunting for booty with me

L-VII- Most likely to be the recipient of my unrequited lust ;)

Vic Moreau- Most likely to be able to top every indecent thing I've ever done. Detty gel!

Qube- Most likely to have my babies

Repressed One- Most likely to be a freak if she becomes "One" or if she lets Ada take over.

Cerberus- Most likely to hear me talk dirty in Spanish

Sexkitten- See L-VII

Tigeress- Most likely to give a player a beatdown!

BSNC- Most likely to get lots of hugs from me (and I'm not a hugger)

Confessions of a London Gal- Most likely to have her shoe closet raided by me

Bob-Ij- Most likely to make me look fabulous

Chari and Buttercup- Most likely to make me jealous... and invite me to their wedding

Ibiluv- Most likely to get laid soon

Kenn Knotty- Most likely to be president of the Federal Republic of Nigeria (fi le!)

Mocha- Most likely to have me raid her wardrobe (that dress was fierce!)

If I missed someone I'm so sorry, please comment and let me know.

Lurve and Kisses

Miss Lowlah... <3

Metroman- Audio

2009-05-08T00:51:00.001+01:00

Uploaded by www.cellspin.net

Metroman-Text

2009-05-08T00:49:00.000+01:00

The recording is above

Wrote this for a metrosexual guy I knew.... he denies being metro lol.

Metroman
You might as well be looking at me
Through plate glass windows
Mr. Model in your pastels and tweeds
When it comes to fashion anything goes

This pseudo-macho kick you’re on “real men wear pink”
Your desire to be individual has
Made you blend right in, don’t you think
That true individuality cares not about fashion faux pas?

Your “uniqueness” I see mirrored in countless others
Your style is not your own it’s borrowed
You, your boys, your brothers
Is there a trend you haven’t followed?

You’re off the pages of GQ, gorgeous no doubt
Tall, smoldering, svelte, hunky, beautiful man
You’d look good in anything but sometimes I want to shout
“Take off those damn clothes so that we can…”

It amuses me to fight with you
For a spot devant la mirror, preening, studying, analyzing
I hate to say who the prettiest is, you would
Win hands down, with your smile so… tantalizing

My once rugged man now pretty boy, manicured hands
Perfect nails, perfect hair… sacre bleu!
You spend so much on you, my man
I love the effort though

I know that this began so that you
Could come closer to deserving
Our feminine perfection, I know there’s beauty in you too
But this is quite unnerving

We, the beauty you sought to conquer
Have been pushed aside, in your efforts to pretty yourself
I can only stand, mouth agape in wonder
I think of what to call you as you make your queenly descent

How odd things are, it’s all reversed
I’m stinky in sweats, you’re pristine
Wafting Bulgari, shaven, waxed…. down there…
There must be something I’m missing

Deep in you I know the musky man lives
With grime in his nails, raw, filthy, primal, real
The Ken dolls of today are empty as sieves
I never thought I’d say this, but I long for the old deal

Mon homme, tu est vraiment beau
C’est dommage, tu est perdu
Find yourself then come home
I’m waiting for you…

Miss Lowlah... <3

Loss, Life, Whatever- Audio Post

2009-05-07T00:33:00.006+01:00

I was going through some old files and found poems that I wrote when I was 18. I decided to share them with you guys. Some of them are relevant to my life now, and some are not. I'm going to do a Scribbles and read them out to you but I'll also post the poem underneath for you to read along. Please ignore my tone, I was in a pretty bad mood. I usually sound more cheerful :) This isn't the audio post I was planning to do, but that will come later. I'll also do more of these.

Loss, Life, Whatever
So I should be curled up in bed sobbing my heart out
Asking why my life is the way it is now
But I'm basking in the sun planning my next adventure
What hearts do I break next, whose hopes do I mow down
Remorse is not a word I care to deal with
Regret is part of life, why dwell on it?
You can't lose what you never had
Life is a loan, temporary, mad

Through life we go through the motions of living
We convince ourselves that there is that one thing
That'll give us joy, bring us "our bliss"
Leaning on a daydream, a whisper... a kiss
Life is a shimmering transparent lie
We hear through filters these delusions that I
Try not to buy into, at times it's tempting
To set down your guard and let the world in....

Miss Lowlah... <3

No-Nonsense Break-Ups 101

2009-05-05T15:05:00.001+01:00

I wrote this when I was 18. I can't speak pidgin but I think I can write it... what do you guys think?

De tings wey you dey do me
No cease to surprise me
Sometimes your body go dey coolele
Den you go wan play me wit fire
E be like say you wan be my paddy
You wan make you fit call me "omoge mi"
Dose sisis wey u dey chase all de time no be me
You say I be your one desire

De next ting i see
You dey hide your luff from me
I tink say we be kampe
But if you wan play me, no be today
My mama no call me mumu
I no go be your mugu
If na play you wan play for my 'at
Omo bounce, I no get time to start

Ore mi, biko, zo
E be like say time don reach to go
I go aks you one time
Wetin I be to you?
Woman wrapper tell me now!
Na wa for you oh, na rili wa
Sense no dey simsim for dat coconut head
abeg abeg abeg, commot for my bed!!!

Miss Lowlah... <3

Just Thoughts...

2009-05-01T21:50:00.005+01:00

Hey y'all,

Have some randomness running through my head. Thought I'd spill them out here to see them more clearly.

I've decided to be a lemming and do an audiopost. Yaay! But I can't decide whether to do a song (lol) or the other thing I was planning to do.

I've been at my aunt's house for the past few days helping with her new baby and the other kids. She's still recovering from her CS. Her kids are a handful. I'm not in the habit of spanking but i've come close to doing a Michael Jackson on them (dangling them over a balcony oh not the other paedo stuff). The new baby is a dream. He's such a beautiful peaceful thing. Well right now he's squealing like a stuck pig cos he's getting his diaper changed but other than that he's so beautiful. I want a baby just like him. But then again, his brother before him was peaceful too, but now he's a little devil. I'm so over his cuteness, I want to throw him away!

Ok not literally but you get. I haven't slept properly in days. However, I'm sticking it out for another week because I wanna be a mum one day and I'm hoping to be a good one. My aunt's a good mum and I wanna be like her. I'm learning as much as I can. She has 4 kids right now, all under 8 and her BP is high. Not a coincidence I tell you.

My mum just called and I was telling her about how the wee one was frustrating me. He asked me to give him three different kinds of food today, and as soon as I made it, he said he wasn't hungry and didn't wanna eat. I asked if he wanted rice, he yelled at me... YELLED at me. NO!! I said fine, and got myself some. As soon as I started eating, of course he decided he wanted mine.

I know that's how kids do... but...

I told my mum I was only having two kids, with a huge gap in between. She laughed at me. Silly mummy, what does she know :p (she knows plenty don't mind me). I love my cousins very much though, so I'm here for them. However, I am so ready to get Vic down here so we can feast on the brats (grilled, I'm on health kick now. No more fried babies).

I'm thinking of giving up celibacy.

I heard some gasps. Lol. Just to be clear, I'm not asking for anyone's opinion or advice on this. Feel free to give your advice and opinions on the other things on this post but I'm here to unburden myself bout this celibacy thing.

This isn't about being horny or wanting to scratch an itch. I haven't felt the need to have sex for this reason in ages...

My reason is, I love Boo and when I was kissing him the other day, it just didn't seem enough. I wanted to get close to him. I wanted to get inside his skin. There has to be a better way to put this. Let me think...

I wanted to be inside him as much as I wanted him to be inside of me. I wanted to feel close to him, I wanted to completely bare my body and soul to him and have him do the same with me. I wanted him to love me physically, to peel back all my defences and take me, and take control. I have NEVER wanted to relinquish this control to anyone but I want to give it to him.

I couldn't get close enough. I kissed him like a starving man seeking nourishment... but it wasn't good enough.

As I left him, my soul was screaming in tortured anguish because there's a part of me that's still trapped inside me that he should have. It doesn't belong here anymore, it's Boo's now.

Also Miss Kitty wasn't too pleased and she and Stephen were plotting against us. The greedy tossers!

This is the only way I know how to give that part of me.

I want to m... I want to m... I... I...

*Breathe*

I... want.. to... make... love... with Boo.

But I don't think I will just yet. Because I want to exorcise the ghosts of all the men before him and cleanse their memory off me.

Also I threw my back out somehow, it was so bad that walking was hard for a bit. I can't even bend over right now. Lol... that kinda rules out one of my favourite positions. Boo it might have been from when you fell asleep on me? (Just kidding, don't start feeling guilty).

So audiopost... song or the other thing?

Lurve and Kisses

Miss Lowlah
<3

Crazy 8s Meme, Maxwell!!

2009-04-29T20:52:00.003+01:00

Maxwell is back!!!!!!

Your face will be the reason I smile/ But I will not see what I can't have forever/ I'll always love ya....

Scribbles tagged me and I decided to do it today because... well you'll see.

8 Things I Look Forward To
1. Seeing Boo again
2. Eating Vic's children (inside joke)
3. My next Brazilian wax
4. Moving out from under my parents' thumbs
5. Doing my upcoming audio post
6. Summer (on this side of the world, fat fucking chance, but still I hope...)
7. My birthday
8. Sex with Boo and Stephen

8 Things I Did Yesterday
1. Kissed Boo
2. Hugged Boo
3. Went shopping with Boo
4. Cooked with Boo (well I cooked, he watched and then devoured... the food)
5. Didn't have sex with Boo
6. Met my new cousin for the first time. He is so precious. I'm getting all broody
7. Rode 2 buses
8. Met some new people

8 Things I wish to do
1. Threesome
2. Start my own beauty and fashion line
3. Finish the book I started writing in my junior year
4. Cure world hunger
5. Have children (Only 2!)
6. Be stinking rich
7. Help people realize their dreams or just help them survive with my stinking rich money
8. Get a first class in grad school

8 Shows I watch
Haven't watched TV for a while but when I do I watch:
1. Scrubs
2. Two and a half men
3. 90210
4. Gossip girl
5. Heroes (till it got lame)
6. Little Britain
7. The game
8. Girlfriends (before it got cancelled)

I tag... um Shonavixen, Tigeress, ibiluv

Honesty Meme

2009-04-26T21:00:00.003+01:00

The lovely L-VII tagged me in this. By the way L, your voice is so totally edible, I have no doubt the rest of you is too.

I struggled with this for some reason, I have no idea what to put here that will interest anyone. I'm trying to think beyond the superficial but I've locked myself up so tight. Still searching for the key...

Here goes...

1. I am so terrified of being hurt that I will do anything to keep myself safe, even hurting someone first. I'm so used to being by myself that being part of a "We" is alien to me. I've had to go into some dark parts of me to beg for freedom to be with Boo.

2. I don't get along very well with other girls. At least not the "normal" ones. I get on better with weird, eccentric, wacky girls. (Exhibit A: Vic). I've opened myself up to betrayal time and again by believing certain people were my friends, but I'm sure most of us have had that experience. I do have some solid girlfriends that I know I can always count on, but not one of them knows me completely. I don't think anybody does really. I worry about not having enough close girl friends because I don't know who my bridesmaids will be and my sister is too pretty to stand beside me on my wedding day. Lol. (It's my day, all eyes should be on me!)

3. I was proposed to twice before my 18th birthday.

4. I have scars on my skin that I'm so self conscious about. I'm getting some kind of surgery to correct them soon. I don't know if they're worthy of something so drastic, but they affect my confidence sometimes and other times they're part of me.

5. I love Boo so much that it astounds me. I never thought I would love anyone again or that anyone would love me. I think I'd already begun to accept that as my fate. I fought my feelings for him for a long time. Sometimes I wish I could read minds.

6. I don't have any vices. I don't smoke or drink or do drugs. I don't need them because I'm fucked up enough as it is. Ok I do have a vice. I like to... you know ;)

7. I love cars almost as much as I love shoes. It's quite unhealthy.

8. I want to be a lemming and jump on the audio post bandwagon but my accent is weird. My siblings and I sound totally different from each other. No two people in my family have the same accent. Lol. In one sentence, I can sound American, British and very faintly Naija, in fact make that one word. Since I moved back here, my accents have been battling for supremacy. I can't speak Pidgin because my accent is all wrong for it. Everytime I try, people beg me to stop lol.

9. (Vic suggested this) I've never licked a man's ass. But maybe coat it in something cake flavored and I'll do it. Lol. Vaginas taste much better than cum just in case you were wondering. I am obsessed with food. Especially the unhealthy kind. I love to eat, yet somehow I remain a size 8/10 (UK) or 6 (US). My friends don't even believe I'm that big, they think I'm a size 0. I've been trying to gain weight since I was 10 because I want a ghetto booty. No luck so far, it's still very bourgeoisie.

10. I am extremely horny right now. Have been for the last few days. Lawd give me strength! Oh Victor... here Vicky Vicky Vicky...

<3

Oh I tag Vic, Qube, Cerberus and Blogoratti

Lions and Tigers and Bears and Comic Relief

2009-04-26T14:15:00.001+01:00

Sometimes I feel like this...

Enough somber shit, watch this and laugh!

The End (Well the beginning...)

2009-04-25T23:46:00.000+01:00

Continued from previous post...

It looked like it would never happen. Then one day I got fed up with the States and packed up my ish and moved back to Europe. Boo and I started having loooooooong phone conversations. every single night. It got to the point where I couldn't sleep if we didn't talk. He was the first person I called when I arrived.

I kept things close on my end and said nothing about feelings and stuff because he was still with P. He talked about breaking up with her, but I kept my opinions to myself. It wasn't my business to tell him how to handle his love-life, so I told him to do what he felt was right. I didn't think he would break up with her and I decided to live with it. It'd hurt to just be friends, but I decided to focus on moving on... before anything even started. Lol.

We decided to meet up one day and I got ready and took the hour drive to the city. On the way I called him to see where he was:

B: Babe I can't really talk now
ML: Everything ok?
B: Yeah... I'm just having "the talk" with P
ML: Oh... well call me later then

I still didn't believe that he would do it. I took a deep breath. I finally got to the city only to get a text from Boo:

I don't think we should meet today, it won't be fair on P. We just broke up and our friends are pissed at me. I really wanna see ya but I don't think we should today. Things just went very sad...

My heart stopped and I didn't know what to say or think or feel. So I texted back: It's fine. Take your time.

The old me would have thrown a tantrum and complained about the journey and all but I'd grown up a lot in the last few years and I knew that I had to give him his space.

He called me that night and we talked about it. He was officially single. But I didn't rejoice yet. I wanted to give him time to be sure he made the right decision. I kept asking him if he was sure. He said yes over and over.

As the weeks went on, I realized that they were really over and that he was serious about me. He told me that he'd liked me all the time I was in the States and that it had sucked to hear me talking about other guys. I wondered why I couldn't see it. Other people could see it but I was oblivious. I did wonder how he could like me and P at the same time, but I remembered that i'd done it too. I liked him and Goofy at the same time right?

The first time he told me he loved me, he was so scared it was almost funny. The first time he said he was "in love" with me, my breath caught in my throat and my heart jumped. The funny thing was that he didn't even realize he'd said it. Inside I was doing cartwheels and jumping up and down. But on the outside I was cool, I just changed the subject.

I'm still scared Boo, but I love you so much and you've given me everything and I want to do the same for you too.

I get so scared sometimes that I can hear my heart screaming at me to run while I still have the time... but it's too late. I've fallen already.

Unlike Beyoncé, my walls are still putting up a fight but they're weakening quickly.

I love Boo...

And for the record I'M NOT WHIPPED!!!

Lurve and Kisses

Miss "Not Whipped" Lowlah <3

My soap opera life...

2009-04-25T12:45:00.004+01:00

There has to be an evil twin somewhere.

**LONG POST ALERT**

Continuing from here...

I was so excited Christmas of '07 because I was going to Naij for the first time in years! I was dizzy with excitement. Goofy and Boo were also going to be there. I didn't think there'd be problems because Goofy and I had gotten into an argument a few days before I left so I didn't think we'd see each other.

Basically, the Bitch wasn't content with just taking Goofy, she wanted to make sure we had nothing to do with each other. She did this by spreading lies, making up stuff that I'd supposedly said. She made the mistake of involving one of my really good friends and lied about her too. My girl was not having it and she put Goofy and Bitch in their place. It was pretty funny, it involved a 3-way call with Goofy, My Girl and I and we cleared things up. However, I was pissed at Goofy because we'd been best friends for years and he'd let the Bitch come in to wreck us. I was just fed up with him, so I just fashied his side for a while.

So I finally got to naij, I was sooo excited. Until the heat hit me sha and then I wanted to run back into the plane. I saw one chick that had this long indian hair weave and I felt sorry for her. In this heat??? Kai!

Ok so when I landed, I texted my number to both Goofy and Boo so they could get in touch with me.

Goofy called me as soon as he got in, and so did Boo and I invited them both to a party at my house. At this point, I was just friends with both of them. Oh did I mention they knew each other? They were school mates from Naij.

They both showed up at my party, Boo came first. As he was coming in, I was rushing off to pick up a cake or something so I said hello really quickly and tried to run off. Boo was not amused. As in he'd come to see me and I couldn't even give him a hug or anything. Can you blame me? Popsie was nearby and he's very protective of me. I was trying to save Boo's life. Lol

I ran out to do my errand and then came back and hung out with the people at my house for a bit. This was the first time I saw black time work in reverse. We'd invited about 6 people to come to my house at 4. Roughly 40 people showed up at 2!! Luckily we had enough food.

So we made plans to go to a club on the island that night, a large group of us including my friends from Europe, Boo, my bruv, his friends and Goofy was doing shakara so I was like whatever mate.

Goofy showed up and spent most of the time on the phone. How bloody rude! You don't get invited to someone's crib and stay on the phone. Anyway sha, he came, I said hello, he teased me... it was normal friendly stuff.

Somehow I got caught in between Boo and Goofy, each one wanting my attention. I still had feelings for Goofy, but I was also very attracted to Boo. I tried to be equally friendly to both. It was so weird that even my cousins noticed. I was glad that Goofy wasn't going out with us that night so I wouldn't have to slice myself in two.

Eventually, the party wound down and we started getting ready to head to the club. I had to wear some ridiculous nonsense because my folks said they wanted to see what I was wearing before I left the crib :( grrrr... that was the only time I was allowed out and it was only because Bruv was going. Can you imagine...?

So we all got into our convoy and headed to the club. We got there and it was a bit dry, but we had to stay on the island till morning cos of robbers and stuff. An hour or so after we arrived, I got a text from Goofy. Since you want me to come so much, I'll come. See me see wahala?

True to his word he showed up. And then the game started again. Goofy and Boo, Boo and Goofy. I danced with both, chatted with both, hung out with both. My head was confused. I didn't know who I should be with. I mean Boo was still dating P and Goofy was with the Bitch. But they were both acting like the wanted me.

I finally figured out who I wanted that night. It was Boo. He'd been whispering things to me all night and we'd been dancing and having a blast. We couldn't really do anything cos we were under the watchful eyes of Bruv but we managed to sneak outside for a furtive kiss. Couldn't really enjoy for several reasons:

1. Bruv might walk out at any minute
2. We were in full view of like a hundred people
3. Boo was not single and I'm not a homewrecker

We had one very small kiss and I cut it off. I was not rying to invite any drama into my life. I went back in and Boo and Goofy were having some kind of one-upping contest. Over me oh... imagine.

It ended with Goofy saying "well I get to see her all the time at school." (I didn't know about this until later).

Then Goofy asked me to dance, I agreed. Just dancing right?

We got on the floor and I was doing my thing having fun and he was getting into it too. Then out of nowhere he tried to kiss me!!! WHAT THE FUCK. I lost my temper. I would have slapped him if he wasn't holding me so tight. My blood was boiling. I stomped on his foot with my five inch heels and stormed out of the club.

I could barely see, I was so angry. I went out to my car and stayed there for the rest of the night. He started texting me. What's wrong? Are you angry? Babe talk to me etc. I texted back, what the fuck do you think? How dare you?

Eventually he came out to the car and tried to talk to me. Tried to calm me down, find out why I was mad. At that point I was calmer and I asked why he'd tried to kiss me. He said it was because he's attracted to me and the way I was dancing he thought I'd be into it. Wrong answer!

My anger had dissipated a bit at this point, so we kept talking. I can't remember about what, but he didn't try anything again. Boo came out and saw us talking and he was not happy. His manner toward me cooled considerably. He'd seen me storm out but had no idea why. He came over to me, said goodbye and got in his car. I got into my car and left too. We didn't see each other for the rest of the vac.

I brushed it off as usual because I figured he didn't like me that much anyway. Since he had P waiting for him right? We kept talking as friends but he kept telling me how much he was feeling me. I didn't really take it seriously because he had P. And I was getting distracted by Goofy.

The next day Goofy called me to talk, and he asked why I'd gotten so mad the night before.

ML: what about Bitch? You hurt me when you left me for her. You even had the nerve to berate me because of her and then you think you can kiss me and everything will be fine? Are you stupid? I mean do you think sometimes?

G: We're not together anymore.

ML: Oh... (speechless)

Somehow I felt placated by this. In my silly little mind, I imagined they had broken up because of me. Well it might have been the truth. He told me she'd asked him to choose between their relationship or his friendship with me. He refused to choose and that was that. He said he got tired of her drama and her tantrums, and an evil part of me was rejoicing. And the smug part of me was like, I warned you about her. Told you she was trouble. She even lied to you about me. Bitch (I really have to let that go especially since I don't love Goofy anymore).

Somehow I pushed Boo to the back of my mind and fell back into things with Goofy. Boo and I still kept in touch and flirted ridiculously but I figured he was happy with P or he wouldn't be with her. Right?

After our conversation, Goofy and I decided to hang out before he returned to the States.

He picked me up and took me to his crib where I met his whole family. He introduced me as... what was it? His baby? His bestie? Both I think. We continued with our we're just friends facade, but I knew that he still wanted to fuck me. I knew I could have him again if I wanted to. I wanted to have that power over him. I wanted to hurt him. Crush him like he crushed me.

I guess it's obvious that at that point I wasn't really over what had happened.

So we went to the palms. I'd never been there and he showed me around and we windowshopped and hung out. When we got back in the car, I went to give him a peck to say thank you but he turned toward me. I stopped. Then I thought what the heck and I kissed him.

It was a big mistake because everything came rushing back and I ignored the hurt and kissed him like he was air and I couldn't breathe.

But this post is about Boo.

So Boo and I continued our friendship as usual, lots of flirting, coded messages, but I believed he wasn't really into me. I thought he'd just try to play me too. I was still raw from my ordeal with Goofy and I wasn't into playing around anymore. I was so badly burned that I couldn't even contemplate a fling with anyone much less something serioius. I was so sure that everyone was out to hurt me. So I didn't take Boo seriously. I knew that he would hurt me and even if he didn't, I would hurt him.

Time passed, Goofy and I had a bust-up and started growing apart. At first I tried to hold on to our friendship. I was still remembering the time we were very close, like family, before all the sex and lies. I wanted to go back there, but eventually I gave up and let the friendship die.

It was the best thing I did for myself because soon the resentment faded and I started to be myself again. Started to become whole again. For nearly two years I was on my own, and I did everything I could to make sure no man got close to me. I needed to be on my own to heal.

I graduated from college, got a job and threw myself into my life. Made new friends and had a blast. I was living it up on my own and loving life (hated my job though).

Through everything, Boo and I kept talking our friendship didn't waver and we confided in each other all the time. I neglected him a bit during my high-powered career woman days but he understood and we were always able to get back on track.

I'm not quite sure when I started to realize that he could be for me, but once I realized it, I got scared. See the old me would have jumped in feet first and claimed my prize, but I still wasn't sure about him. Boo was still with P for one thing. I was still on a different continent. It was still bad timing.

This post is getting too long... Will continue later. :)

It started when we were younger you were mine...

2009-04-24T23:36:00.002+01:00

My Boo!!

I know I'm supposed to be on hiatus, but I owe you guys this post. I still have my laptop till Monday, and I've banned Boo till after his exams.

Remember how we met, Boo and I?

The day after we met, Boo and I went on a "date". We basically went shopping and then he took me to lunch at a Malaysian restaurant. Good times...

Shopping... I had some things to buy so I asked him to come with me and we had a good time. I wanted to rattle him a bit, so I took him to a lingerie shop that sold sex toys and then bought one for the sole purpose of making him uncomfortable. Lol. His expression was priceless.

Yeah I know, I have issues.

My last post ended after we had our bust up, here's how we got back on speaking terms.

It was the winter after that summer and I was back in Europe for my break. I was hanging out with our mutual friends and he happened to stop by. The tension between us was thick and our friends obviously noticed it. They teased us mercilessly and said stuff like "you know you like each other now, just kiss and make up".

We snuck furtive looks at each other but didn't speak. We didn't speak to each other during that break.

A few months after I returned to the states, I heard that he was dating someone... I'll call her Panthera. Ok P. I'm too lazy to keep typing that long thing. I wasn't really bothered by it, and didn't pay too much attention to it.

The summer after the winter after that summer (confused yet?) I returned to Europe for a few days. I made the usual calls and got together with the crew. It was a friday night and we decided to go out.

It was all well and good until Boo and P came in. I started to feel a little something, but I squashed it and was polite. We said hello to each other but that was it. Boo decided to come out with us, but P stayed home. We went out in separate cars. There was a huge group of us so Boo and I didn't have to speak to each other.

However, I noticed that Boo always seemed to somehow be near me. It didn't matter what part of the dancefloor I was on, he was always dancing nearby. Hmm...

Now a song came on that we both liked, and he was near me as usual. Being the impulsive person that I am, I grabbed him and started winding up on him. His reaction? He held me tight and for the rest of the night we were like glued to each other. Just like that, all was forgiven. We didn't talk about the events of the previous summer, we just danced like there was no tomorrow. I swear it felt like there was nobody else in the room.

We didn't kiss, but I wanted to... Lawd knows I wanted to bite him...

The whole time we were dancing, we were getting disapproving looks but I didn't care. In my mind I was doing nothing wrong. We were only dancing but it felt like there was something there.

After the club, we returned to the apartment building. He'd left his sunglasses with me, so I went up to his flat to return them. I was thinking about seducing him, nervous as hell. Should I? Shouldn't I?

The decision was made for me though... P opened the door to the flat. I stammered something incoherent, handed over the glasses and ran out of there.

A few days later, I returned to the States. Back to Goofy, school, work... real life and all the drama that came with it.

I put him out of my mind and focused on other things. I was in the middle of a weird love triangle myself, there was no room in my head for another guy.

One day, I saw a message on my FB wall. Boo was coming to the States for the summer. Fuck!!

I woosahed and let it go. He still had P. I had Goofy and L. It'd be cool. We decided to meet up and spend a day together. We saw a movie. You know what happens in movie theatres right? Lol. We were so awkward with each other. I kept reminding myself that he had a girl and I had.. em.. guys so I focused on the movie and tried to ignore the deliciousness beside me.

He spent the night at my place, but I made sure we slept on separate beds. I barely slept. I couldn't stop thinking of the man in the bed next to me.

The next day, L picked me up for work and Boo went back to his place and we didn't see each other for ages afterward.

We stayed in touch through IM, Facebook and phonecalls. He became one of my best friends and he was there for me when I was going through my ish with Goofy, L and the Bitch.

It was the lowest point in my life and he was there for me, never judged, constantly reminded me that I was a good person and just listened to me. I found a lot of strength through him.

Eventually I was single and free and happier than I'd been in a while, and we kept our friendship. He was still with P and I saw him as a friend and for a while we went on like that. Goofy was out of my life, and I wasn't looking to replace him.

But then came the Christmas of '07 and shit got complicated again...

Note to Boo

2009-04-23T18:25:00.002+01:00

Babe if you're reading this, very sharply get off the comp and study joooo!!!!

Don't let me catch you :p

I'm going on hiatus for a while, but I'll still come in and visit everyone else. I'm sending my laptop off to get fixed and also Boo has exams. He won't study if he keeps reading my posts.

I'll be back soon :)

Miss Lowlah... <3

I think mean thoughts sometimes...

2009-04-22T13:20:00.004+01:00

...but usually I'm able to keep them in my head. However, this time I couldn't contain it. No offence to Namate, I'm sure he's a good person and all but... ok I take that back. No good person would inflict this type of torture on the world.

From the dance moves, to the singing, to the weak track, to the lack of black people in the video, to the fact that he looks like Flavor Flav... in fact I'm insulted. So this is why talented people don't get record deals eh? Hissssssssssssssss. I hope he's not Nigerian. I really hope...

I apologise in advance for any trauma caused by viewing this video.

Enjoy!

Toys for Big Girls

2009-04-21T23:29:00.002+01:00

Thanks to MPB for giving me the inspiration for this post.

Show of hands anyone who has ever masturbated. Stop lying. You in the back, come on put your hands up! Nonsense...

Now being Catholic, I am severely conflicted when it comes to all things sexual but, also like a good Catholic, I have managed to suppress my Catholic guilt.

I remember feeling horny even at a young age, I think the first time I felt that surge of hormones I was about 10 or 11. At the time, I didn't know what these urges were or how to relieve them. Eventually, they just went away.

As I got older, when I got these urges, I'd touch myself down there, just generally feeling around in an effort to relieve the tension, but I didn't know what I was doing.

I discovered masturbation by accident when I was 16. I was taking a bubble bath and something about my naked body and the water made me feel so turned on... I started feeling myself as usual and I noticed that when I rubbed a particular spot, some delicious sensations passed through me. I kept on rubbing that spot over and over until suddenly there was this explosion. I remember my mouth dropping open in shock and delight, I'd never felt anything so amazing. I knew what it was instantly. I felt quite proud.

A few minutes later, the guilt set in. I felt awful and dirty and sinful. But then the guilt passed and I did it again and again and again. I even tried to teach my then bf how to do it, but he didn't get it, bless his lil heart. So for years it was a cycle of guilt and orgasms.. in fact they became intertwined for me.

Funny thing is, when I eventually started having sex, I didn't feel as much guilt after sex as I did after masturbating.

Then I was introduced to the world of toys.

My first toy was a simple vibrating dildo. It was actually a present from a friend. I wouldn't let him fuck me, so he bought a toy for me instead and ordered me to think of him when I used it. I didn't. I tried using it the way I saw girls in porn movies do (yes I watch porn, you know you do too) fucking myself with it, but vaginal sex never brings me to orgasm. It didn't take long for me to realize that I could reach orgasm quickly just by laying it on my clit. Fun times were had by all... the odd thing is that if someone else used it on me, I couldn't come. In fact I couldn't come if another person was involved.

My second toy was a bullet called flicker. I had a whole bunch in between but now it's just Victor my rabbit. My friend named him. Lol. He's pink with a boy's name? A gay rabbit?

I haven't actually used him in ages. Is my libido waning? Nah... all it takes is the thought of Boo and I'm ready (yup just had to mention him). We still haven't done the deed. I'm enjoying just being with him for him.

As I got older, the guilt diminished. It's still there but... a girl's gotta do etc.

Now here's a step by step guide on how to masturbate. If you've never done it, please try it. It's a great way to learn about your body and what makes you do what. If you don't know what makes you come, how will you show him? I squirted once, in my bf's mom's car. Good times...

Now it's different for everyone so I'm not gonna tell you what to do. Just do you basically (pun intended).

I just wrote all this and I'm not even horny...

My celibacy thingy ends in October. I almost feel sorry for Boo because when the floodgates open...

Kisses

<3

I got my pimp hat on

2009-04-21T20:08:00.002+01:00

Hey guys,

I just thought you should check out this blog it's pretty cool. I'll be back soon with a proper post.

<3

ML

I Promise I haven't Lost my Mojo

2009-04-21T10:42:00.003+01:00

I haven't titilated you guys with posts of debaucherie recently, but they will resume momentarily. I had a hellish week with PMS (TMI?) and the stuff in my last few posts and I've finally gotten a chance to breathe.

The aches are subsiding, but I may forever be emotionally scarred by TM's nonsense.

My sissies and I are going to make our own nollywood movie, filmed entirely on my cell phone cam. Complete with suspenseful music and hammed up acting. But we draw the line at bad hair. My sissies and I have beautiful hair and we like to intimidate the world with it.

So I found this interesting. My mum is going to study to become... wait for it... wait for it... a sex therapist!!! How awesome is that? I want her to do it just because I will derive immense pleasure from telling people what my mum does. I know... I have issues.

My boobs grew bigger... again. I can't keep spending money on lingerie that no one will see. I think one's bigger than the other.

I'm spending a whole weekend with Boo this weekend. I'm sooooooo excited. It's going to be strictly PG as we will be chilling at my bruv's crib. I'm thankful for my cock blocking bruv cos I doubt I'd be able to control myself around that manly, beastly, sexy, hot, hard... *drooling*

I think I'm in love. Not lust. Lurrrvve. Let me study these feelings first then I can say for sure what they are.

He is just the coolest, bestest, awesomest, Boo ever.

OMG I just said mushy stuff without feeling the urge to puke... odd.

I'm rambling, I'm going to go away quietly now and get my next post ready. Help me pick something to write about:

a) Goofy
b) Boo
c) Some random topic
d) Sex sex sex

Laters *giggling like a silly person*

Miss Lowlah ~~~~~~~<3

One word meme thingy

2009-04-20T22:34:00.002+01:00

I was tagged by Scribbles... here goes...

1. What is your name: Lowlah

2. A four Letter Word: Lick

3. A boy's Name: Luke

4. A girl's Name: Laura

5. An occupation: Ladyboy

6. A color: Lilac

7. Something you'll wear: Leggings

9. A food: Lemon meringue

10. Something found in the bathroom: Leather thong (depending on whose bathroom)

11. A place: Libya

12. A reason for being late: Lesbians

13. Something you'd shout: Loser!

14. A movie title: Love actually

15. Something you drink: Lemon lime soda

16. A musical group: Lumidee

17. An animal: Ladybug

18. A street name: Lisdoo

19. A type of car: Leganza

20. The title of a song: Love me

I got em all! I rock... I tag Qube, Roc, Vic, L-VII, Mocha and anyone else that reads this :)

Wahala pt. 2

2009-04-19T13:18:00.003+01:00

Continued from here...

So at this point, I was starting to feel a wee bit skeptical and wondering what exactly was going to happen. Being the silly person I am (sometimes) I decided to see this through to the end.

Door to door sales turned put to be walking non-stop for roughly 5 hours all over town. going from house to house hawking some makeup stuff. Did I mention that it was cold and raining?

At the end of the day, my back was aching, my ankles were hurting, even my hips were affected. The next morning I was so stiff I could hardly walk. Even now, 2 days later, I'm still feeling the pain. For some reason, I decided that yesterday would be a good time to get back into exercising (getting my body bikini ready and ish) but now my entire body is screaming in pain. Who sent me? I've also got a bad case of PMS and I feel bloated so I've been doing crunches like my life depends on it. Come back washboard abs! Come back flat tummy!

Anyway, back to Friday. The worst part of the day was not the walking around. The TM hit on me the whole time. Can you imagine? It started off quite innocently...

TM: So what did you study at school?
ML: Oh seduction and massage (not what I said but my real major was boring)
TM: Oh cool I studied HR
ML: (Yawn) Oh great

We were walking this whole time. I was wondering, wtf are we going? We eventually got on a bus and were on it for at least 45 mins. We were far from the city itself by this point and at some suburb. The whole time, I was asking relevant questions, trying to find out more about the business and what I would have to do. Then we got off the bus and the stupidity began.

We walked for hours, from door to door selling the stuff. I'd picked that day to start my new healthy food diet and I'd only had an apple for brekkie. Stupid me.

TM: So did you have a bf at college?
ML: (BF or BFs?) Yeah, so what exactly are we doing now?
TM: So did you break it off when you left?
ML: How much do you have to sell in one day?
TM: Are you with anybody now?
ML: Yes and he's big and black and mean. Now what's the procedure?

And on and on like that. At on point we were standing in front of a potential customer's door. This man was supposed to be interviewing me this whole time, but he was far more interested in my love life. It was creepy.

TM: So did you ever cheat on your ex?
ML: No.
TM: Are you sure?
ML: Why is that your business?

He let it go.

Then later
TM: Would you cheat on your current bf? You fancy me don't ya?
ML: Hunny don't flatter yourself. Now can we get to selling?

It just got weirder. From asking what easter egg Boo got me to would I cheat on him, and he knows I think he's cute etc. I managed to remain stoic throughout and not sock him one.

The highlight of the whole day was watching to male dogs try to fuck each other. Neither one wanted to be the bitch and they kept trying to mount each other. It was hilarious. Watched for like 10 mins. It's the closest I've come to sex in a while. Sue me!

Anyhoo, we got back to the office at like 8pm, and there I had to do a questionnaire and another interview. I sailed through both easily. TM had apparently highly recommended me for the post. So when the manager offered me the job I wasn't surprised. I knew I'd get it, not being cocky but it wasn't rocket science.

I told him I'd think about it. He tried to put some pressure on me to accept immediately, but I spun some yarn about how Naija culture demands that we discuss such huge decisions with the parentals beforehand. Not a lie or per se, but I just wanted to get out of there.

By the time I was done, it was 9pm. I'd been there since noon. A nine hour interview???

I got home at ten something and could barely talk much less walk or eat. My mum was probably thinking that I was with Boo because she didn't believe there was such a thing as a 9 hour interview. When I told her my story sha, she started petting me. Eyah poor girl and all that. Lol. I left out the part about getting hit on though, I know my mum. She would have caused some major wahala and demanded I never get a job or something like that.

I told Boo though, he was not pleased. He wanted to beat TM up. My big strong boo boo :)

My mum said hell no. I wasn't to work for them. She didn't need to tell me twice. Apparently, the walking we did was small. Their regular days are 9-5. Walking for 8 straight hours and even on saturdays too. The pay wasn't too awful, it wasn't worth it.

I'm still so sore as I'm writing this, so when they called to ask my decision (it was TM that called and I didn't even need to think) I said no mate, not happening. The thought of working under that slimy person made me shudder. Even without the walking I'd have said no.

On a lighter note, I played a mean trick on my 7 year old cousin. I got too much satisfaction from it though. I'm a bad person. Lol.

He has a nintendo DS and on our way to my house, he kept dropping it and losing it. I told him to give it to me to keep, he refused. As we were leaving the bus station, he forgot about it and left it on a chair. I saw it and quietly slipped it into my bag. When I got home, I started asking him where it was. He of course had no clue and ransacked the house looking for it. He couldn't understand why his cousins were laughing at him. When his dad came to get him, I gave the dad the DS and he played along with the prank too. He said he'd discipline the boy when he got home. I'm sure he got off lightly though, his mum gave birth to a beautiful baby on friday. I'm trying to get them to name the child after me. For some reason they burst out laughing when I mention this.

This cracked me up: My cousin said he wanted to be around when his new sibling was born because "if nobody was there, the baby would think its the first child".

On a weird note, I had a dream last night and the whole thing was in French...

See Me See Wahala

2009-04-18T17:04:00.004+01:00

Hello hunnies,

I know it's been a while but I've had a rather interesting and busy week. It's been rather odd.

I'll start with monday. Not very eventful.

Tuesday... I took my lil sis and her friends out to the park. It was nice until they decided to form a mutiny against me. I soon put them in their place (I'll make such a good mother :) )

Anyhoo, we decided to go to the mall. I've been very lazily looking for a job for the past few weeks, but not trying too hard cos I didn't really want to get one. If I get a job here, then my dad won't send me to Naij for the summer.

So anyway, at the mall, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize (I only get calls from a few people, and pretty much all of them are fam) and I instinctively knew it was from a job. It was a marketing firm requesting an interview for the next day. No wahala.

I went home to get ready.

Do you believe in omens? Because I think I now do. I went home and got the pants I was going to wear. They were dirty, so I put them in the washing machine. Easy right? No such luck. The power tripped off.

Crap!

Turned the power back on. Tripped off again. My mom yelled at me to turn the machine off so I did. My pants were now stuck in the washing machine. Oh no!

I had to wear something else, it was okay, but it was't as fabulous.

On my way to my interview the next day, I got a call from my fave auntie.

"ML I called the house looking for you"
"Aunty Mi, I'm on my way to an interview"
"Can you come by after your interview?" She was panting quite alarmingly.
"Sure aunty what's going on?"
"I'm about to go to the hospital"
"The baby is coming???"
"I think so"

So of course I was ridiculously excited.

Got to my interview really early, was in and out in 5 minutes. They told me to come back in 2 days for a second interview. No problem.

Stopped by my aunty's house on my way home and ended up staying to sit for the kids while she and my uncle went to the hospital.

After my ordeal with my bratty cousins (love them) I decided that I don't want kids for a while! Maybe 2 kids. Max! With a third for jara. Boo wants ten kids. Please join me in pointing and laughing at him.

Anyhoo, I got home the next day and got ready for next day's interview. They told me to wear comfortable shoes. I wore shoes with heels I was feeling all sexy and professional with myself. Hmm...

I ended up taking my cousins home with me and it turned out my sissy's friends were sleeping over too, so in total I had like 6 or 7 kids under the age of 8 at my crib. Seriously Boo. Only 2 kids.

Anyway. On the way to the interview, my bus got into an accident. Another omen. Waited for like 45 mins for the cops to come and clear the ish up. I got to the interview 15 mins late. I called beforehand though.

Anyway, at the previous interview, they told me that they were looking for people to train for management positions. I thought cool, desk job. Yaay! But then they told me to wear comfy shoes... not so yay.

Got to the interview and they introduced me to trainee manager.

ML: Hi
TM: Hello

They told me I was going to shadow him the whole day.

TM: Follow me

We went downstairs and outside. Hmm.... then we met with one of the sales reps.

TM: Today we're going to be doing door to door sales.

What the fuck?

Nobody told me twice before I ran into a nearby store and bought flat shoes.

Ok this post is getting rather long. I'll continue later...

Grrrrr...

2009-04-13T21:21:00.002+01:00

I'm in such a filthy mood right now. Here's what happened...

And no this is not sex related...

I've been out of the country for over a year and my friends and I didn't really keep in touch, but that's kind of how we've been. We'd just catch up when I returned. However this time I was gone much longer.

When I got back, I made the usual round of calls trying to arrange meet ups and stuff and they kept giving me excuses. I was like, ah well. Busy people and all. We live in different towns too.

Anyhoo, my mum suggested that I have a party over Easter and invite all of them so we could catch up. I did, but they said they had exams and stuff but maybe we could do it in May. I went ahead with the get together anyway and just had fam over.

However, my mum told me she'd seen one of the girls on the bus from my town yesterday. I was a bit upset, but I brushed it off.

I went on facebook a short time ago and what did I see but pics of all of them, ALL OF THEM, in one of the girls' house, here in my town, the same weekend my party was on. They were having a party and they totally blew me off!

I was pretty pissed about it.

So I'm thinking fuck it! Let them do their thing. No wahala. It's not by force to be friends is it? Forget them.

Thank goodness for Boo who calmed me down. I probably shouldn't be mad but I don't like to be played. If they didn't want to hang out that's all they had to say and I won't bother them again. I cannot stand dishonesty, I mean what the fuck?

I don't really have many girlfriends and the ones I do have, I treasure. Girls like these remind me of why I don't have a lot of girlfriends in the first place.

I know we weren't good about keeping in touch but it's a two way thing. They weren't exactly knocking down my door to see me. Did I mention that I went an hour and a half to their town to see em and they blew me off at the last minute?

Aaaaargghhh!

Rant over, Phew!

Maybe You Didn't Get the Memo, but We've Taken "Slut" Back!

2009-04-09T14:09:00.005+01:00

Before I get into this post, I have some questions:

How many girls will willingly and honestly admit the number of men they have slept with?

Anyone?

Now guys, how many of you will willingly declare, admit, even add on top sef, the number of girls you've slept with?

Anyone?

Hmm...

Last night, S and I had a loooong conversation about sex and numbers. I accidentally deleted the transcript, but I'll ask S for a copy and post it later. I'll fill you in on the gist of it.

Boo and I are getting to know each other and he demands complete honesty. I promised to give him that, but when he asked me how many partners I'd had, I couldn't answer. Rather than lie, I told him the truth: that I was ashamed.

His response to me was that he didn't care about my past and the fact that I felt I couldn't tell him was actually more hurtful than any number I could give him. He then asked me if it was more than 50 (no it isn't). Then we put the topic on the back burner for another day.

I decided to ask Monsieur Sofisticat's opinion (I didn't tell him the number either), but he asked me not to tell him if I thought it was bad. I still didn't feel right because Boo had told me his truth. Why was I hiding?

Then Vic (S) and I got into a discussion about it. At the end of that convo, I picked up my phone and texted boo:

Call me as soon as you wake up. I have something to get off my chest.

He called me a few hours later and I told him. His response, "Is that what you were hiding for? Silly girl. What are your plans for today?"

I was quiet for a few moments because I had expected him to say we were over, that he thought I was dirty... something. But he took it in his stride like he always does (there goes another piece of me falling for him...)

Now on to the main topics of discussion.

Why does society allow men to play as much as they want, and then demand that the women they marry be pure and untouched? Why is it that a woman's value depreciates as she has sex? Why is a man a stud and a woman a slut?

Women are sexual beings and we are very capable of fucking and thinking like men. Men say they understand that fact, yet they quake with fear when they meet a woman with a longer record than theirs. We have the right to be as sexually free and vulgar as men, but we believe that if we do, we will be classed as dirty and of lower value. Society isn't the only one to blame though, we women are to blame as well. We buy into all the rubbish that we're fed from birth. We project our own insecurities onto our children. Isn't there some kind of balance we can achieve? Some kind of equality?

We're told not to have sex. To abstain till marriage. That being virgins makes us good people. Pure people. Innocent. Fuck that! I've met some mean virgins in my time. I think they need a lil something something to take the edge off.

But seriously, once a girl loses her "virtue" it seems as if every other positive thing about her is irrelevant. It doesn't matter that she's smart, funny, warm, loving, motherly... no. She's fucked x number of guys so she's dirty. She must have loose morals. No home training. No self restraint.

What about if she just likes sex? Remember? Women are sexual beings?

Not every woman wants relationships and not every woman wants a commitment. If she wants to get laid and is safe about it, then why not? It's her vagina to do with as she pleases.

Like Vic said "it's your pussy, not society's."

Now let's take another tack. What are the adverse effects on a woman that has had lots of partners?

1. STDs
2. Unwanted pregnancies
3. Loose vadge (lol)
4. A reputation
5. Low self esteem

Now 1 and 2 can be solved by having safe sex and 3 is not an issue for those aware of Mr. Kegel. As Vic pointed out, you'd have a loose vadge from having sex with the same person over and over anyway.

Now 4 is more difficult. I have a friend. She's beautiful, curvy, bubbly and the nicest, warmest person you'd ever meet. She, like me, has a healthy sexual appetite. She, however, slept with a number of people that move in the same circles. Now, her reputation is shot and even her girlfriends avoid her. These same people avoiding her do their own dirt, cheat on their men etc. (I could name names) but they act like they're purer than the driven snow.

The men she slept with, nobody bats an eyelash at, but she gets everyone's contempt. Why do the men go scot free to boast about her, while she's called names? Somebody please explain this to me. Despite all this, she's still one of the most loyal and realest people I know, and I will fight for her if it comes down to it. So she's fucked people. So what? I have and so have you.

Why is sex shameful for women? Why do we get so defensive about it? Why do we as women, try to defend our sexual nature?

"I had sex with him because I thought I loved him", no woman! You were horny and you wanted to get some.

As for number 5, sex does not cause low self esteem. If you're using your body as a means to an end, then fair play to you, but don't try to fuck to get love. If you want love, grow it. If you just want sex, fuck it!

As a wise person once said, "It's not what you put into your body that makes you dirty, but what comes out of it (metaphorically speaking)"

Sex is a beautiful, natural and equal experience.

I DEMAND the right to not feel less because I've had sex.

I DEMAND the right to fuck or fucklove as I please!

Miss Lowlah... <3

PS
I'm not advocating fucking all willy nilly, but don't hold back if you feel you can handle it. Don't let what you think others will think of you matter. You know who you are better than anyone.

Also cheating is bad...

The First "He" That Made me Oooh Oooh Baby...

2009-04-08T02:09:00.003+01:00

We got back from the party late, sweaty and exhausted. I'd danced in my red pumps with the 5" heels forever it seemed. I wanted nothing more than to pull off my sweaty clothes and tumble into bed, but he had other plans.

I noticed him start to get comfortable, pulling off his shoes and settling himself in my space. This imposter.
"L don't you think you should be getting home? It's a bit late don't you think?"
"Nah babe, I'm too tired to drive. I'll just stay the night here and leave early."

I sighed. He didn't even ask if it was okay with me.

"Fine, I'll sleep on the couch."
"No need that for that babe, we can share the bed."

It's my bloody bed! But I was so tired....

Fine.

I don't know why I couldn't stand him, why being around him irritated me so much. But he was my boyfriend. I'd agreed to be committed to him. I deserved to be committed alright.

He was my boyfriend, so I went to him and I kissed him.

He pushed me on the bed and got on top of me. Note that we hadn't had sex at this point, and things had been strictly PG13 before now.

He kissed me roughly and I tried to push him off me. He grinned and went lower and lower. He pulled off my shorts with one hand and held me down with the other. Before I knew it, my thong was off too.

"L please don't! I feel really gross, I'm all sweaty and I just want to sleep"
"L stop it!"

But he knew what he was doing. He smiled and held me till I stopped fighting. It was a short struggle. He had about 80lbs and 6 inches on me. Then he went to work.

I closed my eyes in embarassment. Lawd it can't be too fragrant down there.

Then all thought ceased as I felt...

He probed me gently with his fingers, and with a final grin, he buried his nose in my cunt. He licked my clit with the most unusual strokes. First long and languid, then short and quick. He pressed his tongue flat on my clit and then blew air on it. I nearly came from the shock of the cold air on my clit. He repeated the motions and then buried his tongue inside me as far as it would go. He replaced his tongue with his fingers and went back to my clit.

As he worked, he pinched and twisted my nipples in a deliciously painful way and I felt waves of pleasure crashing through me even as I tried to push him away.

Then all of a sudden, I felt it. It built up, and up, and up, and up, and then the explosion.... and the release.

I was so shocked that my mouth dropped open and instead of staying still to enjoy the warm afterglow, I jumped up and glared at him. I'd been utterly convinced that a man could never make me come, and without even trying, this... this... person had shattered my belief.

"Oh my gosh, I came?!"

His answer was a self satisfied smirk as he kissed me goodnight. Hey... I didn't taste half bad...

I should point out that everytime I've ever come with a man, it has been against my will (at least to start with) and never during sex.

I have this fantasy where I'm walking through a dark alley...

<3

Speshul Pt 3

2009-04-07T16:21:00.006+01:00

Before reading this post, read the ones preceeding this and also read Speshul's side of what happened when I went down to visit. I'll continue from where she stopped.

I read it for the first time yesterday. The last line reads:

"I could have fucked a girl last weekend, but she would not hold my hand."

I read it and thought "Oh no! I'm just like the men I hate!"

I admit to being attracted to the female sex, but I've never considered any emotional connection beyond friendship. If S and I had gone further, it would have stayed in my head as a sexual act, nothing more, nothing less.

I didn't know how deep it went for her before I rashly agreed to go for it. I thought she was experimenting as I was. I'm glad we talked about it before it ate so deep into our friendship that we couldn't recover. We stayed close and open with each other even after that.

The night of the "event", I instinctively knew that I had done something wrong, but I wasn't sure what. I saw the distant look on her face but I didn't want to address it. We got home and got in bed but we barely spoke or touched. I thought I had been too aggressive or touched her wrongly. I wasn't angry, just confused.

The next day I wanted to dispel the shadows of the night before, but I didn't think we could talk about it. I lay my head in her lap to let her know that I was okay and we'd be okay. It wasn't until we talked a few days later that I found out what the real issue was. As usual, I took everything she said on board and kept it within me. We continued our friendship.

I found myself floating closer and closer to her wavelength but we had a falling out that put a stop to that.

S and Beauty were scheduled to visit me in the same weekend, but B asked that I keep it secret from S. I wanted Beauty, but I hearted S. I didn't know who to be loyal to, so I put myself first and said nothing to either one.

I had my moment with Beauty and then told S about it. She did not take it well and neither did he when he found out his sis was in town. I still remember the text messages he sent and how he called me dishonest. There was a lot of suff said but this stood out to me:

You were fun while it lasted.

It was this that sparked my celibacy thing. I felt used and just so empty. I was starting to take sex too casually and I didn't want to go on like that.

S and I didn't speak for weeks and Beauty and I will never be friends. When she came back, I was elated, but I quickly realized that she wasn't my S anymore. I got tired of trying to bring the normalcy into our friendship and I let her go without a word.

I guess it's true what they say, if you love something let it go...

S know that I wouldn't hurt you for anything and that I really do love you, but I'm human too.

I know you were expecting me to write a mean post but I was serious when I said I wasn't angry. How you fee; is how you feel. And like you said, the past is just that.

I'm so happy to have my partner in crime back, the only girl that makes me feel tame (and that's saying a lot).

She'll be doing guest spots on this blog from time to time. If you think I'm Debauched, you ain't seen nothing yet. Read her post on snowballing (and the rest of her blog). I know you all were soooooooooooo interested in it ;)

Thanks for all the love blog fam.
<3

You Scare Me...

2009-04-07T16:14:00.005+01:00

I was woken up by my phone singing to me... a text message

"I adore you"

Oh Boo, you're really getting under my skin. I'm too scared to explore the depth of my feelings for you because I know that if I allow myself to fall, I won't get up. You've been a constant in my life for some years now and I'm afraid of what it will mean when I start to need you. I can't let you in just yet. Please stay patient.

Notin do you ;)

He wants to see my blog. We've talked about everything here already, and he knows about my "Debaucherie". Nothing on this blog has been kept secret from him, but why am I hesitant to let him in here? He wants to get inside my head but it's the one place he hasn't infiltrated yet.

I think I need to hide a part of me away so that if the rest of me is broken, this one whole piece will remain.

Should I? Shouldn't I?

<3

Pimping Ain't Easy...

2009-04-06T21:35:00.004+01:00

So I've been talking about Speshul aka Vic in my last few posts and I want you all to meet her properly.

Visit her blog, look around, say hello, leave some love. She is amazingly deep and deliciously sensual.

By the way, I'm Syrup on her blog.

Cerberus and SMF... Deje que la batalla comience!

<3

And Monsieur Sofisticat Thought He Had Skills

2009-04-06T16:45:00.006+01:00

I was having an IM conversation today with a platonic (for now) friend of mine, Monsieur Sofisticat. He thought he would get me riled up because he knows how to turn a phrase and because I'm celibate (idiot).

MS:

You will melt like hot butter when I lay my hands on you. I'll caress ur navel then play with ur nipples lick them the stroke their wetness with my fingers...then also lick ur earlobes and whisper dirty things into ur ears

i really really hate you

you're evil

and you'll pay

Sure thing

I'll make sure that the ingering experience is memorable with you wetness dripping over my hands from the pleasure ur feeling as I stroke u in and out touching and stimukating ur g spot with expert precision and manipulation.

At the same time using my tongue on ur clit and vibrating it to enhance the pleasure ur feeling and send orgasmic sensations from ur lower head to ur upper head making ur toes curl in delightful reaction

In fact

If I was single

and didn't like boo to distraction

and didn't have a conscience

I would find you

and do mean things to you

He kept sending me IMs like this so I decided to let Miss Lowlah take over and show him pepper. This is what she came back with (off the top of her head).

If I had you alone for a little while

I will take my time to show you style

I will slowly take the clothes off you

and let you sit and watch me too

I will kiss your lips so hard and deep

Yourself in control you can not keep

all over your body my hands will roam

make you forget the place you call home

Slowly slowly dance for you

Wind my slender frame for you

move my waist seductively

watch you watch me decisively

lick my lips in anticipation

As i measure out your sexual rations

nibbling your earlobe, tracing kisses down your spine

I'll show you things, but I will take my time

my nipples brush your back as i slowly massage

your strong sexy body, you'll forget the passage

of time, i'll stimulate and excite you

while you imitate and emulate my every move

lick my way from the nape of your neck

all the way down to the base of your spine

I'll turn you over so I can see

what it is that I will in time make mine

I'll touch you slowly. softly, gently

while i record all the moments swiftly, mentally

nothing at all will turn on me

like the thought of you laying there watching me

as i kiss my way down past your belly and your button

toward the place that was yet forgoten

I feel your shudders as I take you in

just a lil, not yet, don't try to win

for i am the master, you're my willing slave

I'm wild, I know, for such a babe

My mouth waters as i totally, completely engulf you

and give untold pleasure to you, yes you

My tongue circles your tip and my lips move like i'm hungry

I can't help it, you beast, you taste so yummy

from the base of your hardness to the top of the shaft

Yeah that's right, I take it all like that

Caressing your lil buddies with my free hand

your ecstacy makes you want to do handstands

as I pull away and the coldness hits you

I slide you into my warmth and let you do

the things we talked about. that only us know

but remember this baby, don't ever go slow

Take me hard and fast and rough as you please

Have you moaning and groaning and screaming with ease

But you know I'm a woman that likes to lead

I'll show you my Eden, if you will take heed

Needless to say, Miss Lowlah had MS sweating at work. She's bad oh...

<3

Speshul Pt 2

2009-04-06T11:54:00.010+01:00

I've been ordered by Speshul to continue this post on pain of death. *Bite me S*

Continuing from here

Please ignore the typos and formatting issues, who spellchecks when IMing?

ML		ok i must confess
ML		i've done that
ML		and worse
S		tchw
S		and you have the nerve to come here with 'ewwww'
ML		:$
ML		lol
ML		have to keep up the facade of innocence
S		lol
S		i don't have energy for that
S		what's the worst you've done? ;)
ML		can't tell u
ML		i think it'd freak even you out
ML		what's the worst you've done?
S		l.m.a.o.
ML		i mean there's all the standard stuff like doin it in a public place
S		it is impossible to freak me out
ML		back seat of car in parkin lot here
ML		etc
ML		u try me
ML		wats the freakiest u did?
S		lol, i was in the parking lot of my mom's apartment
ML		lol
S		that's not it

S		hahaha
S		nah, i dished the goods first
S		its your turn
ML		i had
ML		a um
ML		um
ML		um
ML		um
S		threesome?!
ML		lesbian tryst
S		close enough
ML		:$
ML		ur turn
S		like making out? or sex?
ML		u really want to know?
S		yeah (i made out with two chicks in the southwest)
ML		ok
ML		it was pretty much everything
ML		no penetration for obvious reasons
S		lol
ML		i happen to really hate the girl too
S		what?
S		so how did you end up in bed with her?
ML		this was after
S		ohhh
ML		i didn't hate her before
S		what did she do?
ML		now wats ur worst thing?
ML		she stole Goofy
ML		and then tried to make him stop being friends with me
S		gasp! the bitch!
ML		u know the usual
S		(ps- i shoudl have hit on you while i was down there)
ML		NOW STOP AVOIDING THE QUESTION!!!
S		dayum, child
ML		and by the way when are we gettin our tatts?
S		i tossed a guy's salad, snowballed with another guy, that's pretty much it
ML		wats snow balled?
S		from urbandictionary.com snowballing: A very kinky sexual game when after someone has had sperm ejaculated into their mouth they hold it orally rather than spitting or swallowing, then french-kiss with their partner. It can also apply with two guys or a group with at least one guy involved (no duh).
ML		lol
S		hehe
ML		so was there another person involved?
S		sadly, just me and my older guy
ML		oh
ML		i think i win
S		lol
ML		how old was ur older guy?
S		you can have the medal for now
ML		i want an older guy

I guess at this point I realized my Speshul was a freak. But it got worse...

S	how rough have you gotten?
ML	um
ML	hitting, biting, scratching hair pulling
ML	tame stuff
ML	you?
S	lol
S	hitting?
ML	spanking
ML	i like that for some reason

but yha, Soulman introduced me to choking

accidentally

which was awesome

choking???

choking?

maybe i can get the medal now

cuts off your oxygen supply, gives you a little high

yeah

u can have it

while i think of a way to one up

um..

hahaha

i had sex in my car last night

in the parking lot

boooo

i win

of this place

ummm.

actually i think i still win

lol

u;ve not had a lesbian experience yet

haha

hahaha

and i've choked before

on a french fry

And then...

	S		does dude (ML's bf at the time) wanna do a threesome with you?
	ML		yeah
	ML		dunno of any girl
	S		ahem.
	ML		loollll
	S		i'm just saying....
	ML		lol#
	ML		i'll remember that
	S		fair enough
	S		and while we're on that, just fyi, i'll prob hit on you if you come down here. if you're not into it, that's cool too, but be warned :)
	ML		lol
	ML		if u're serious remind me to get a brazilian before i come down
	S		i am serious. would've hit on you wayyyyy before now, except Goody was hosting me and that could've been very. very. awkward.
	ML		y?
	ML		wat if i wasn't into it?
	ML		do i look like a lezzer?
	ML		lol

To be continued... again...

She's so Speshul, so Speshul, so Speshul

2009-04-05T18:46:00.004+01:00

Speshul is one of the few people that knows I write this blog. When she found out about it, she insisted that I share the story of us. Speshul is the only person in this world I can spill all my secrets to, sexual and otherwise and know that she's done worse. Lol. So here goes...

*Disclaimer*
I know this story is kind of strange, but the point is to be totally honest.

I met Speshul one fine summer's day, in the most ordinary way. I was asleep in my friends living room when I heard voices. I opened my eyes to see that we had company. I hate getting caught napping, so I launched from fast asleep to full chatter in an attempt to hide the fact that I had been asleep. I usually don't get on with girls so soon after meeting them, but in an attempt to hide my embarassment, I got really chatty with one of the girls; Speshul. She was an interesting creature to say the least. I thought she was Fulani because of her name and her looks, but she turned out to be mixed race. She was wearing a demure summer dress and looked like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. So I assumed that like our other friends, she was part of the V club. Little did I know...

It wasn't long before she was showing me how to belly dance and tick tock my ass. Still with the same butter wouldn't melt expression on her face.

We became fast friends and it turned out we had a lot in common. She was even more perverted and deviant than I was and I loved it. My closest friends are lovely but very conservative so she was a refreshing change. It wasn't long before we were talking every single day.

One day, we were in her car together and her brother Beauty (yes the same one) rang her. Being my nosy self, I took the phone from her and started talking to him. Beauty and I clicked really quickly and by the end of our first convo, we'd planned our divorce, named our kids and picked a honeymoon spot. He lived in a different state, so I wasn't sure I'd ever meet him but we began a text and phone flirtation that went on for several months.

Now back to Speshul. She lived about 4 hrs drive away from me, so we only saw each other once in a while. She came down for a friend's birthday party one weekend. Unfortunately, I left before the fun part. Later on in the week, she IM'd me to fill me in on all the debauchery that occured in my absence. They had ended up playing "I Never" and that's when all the nastiness came out.

We started to talk about past sexual experiences and crazy things we'd done, trying to shock and out do each other. But homegirl was more than a match for me. (By the way S, I still have the medal. You know what you have to do to get it *smirk*) Then our conversation took a weird turn.

To be continued...

Random Things about Miss Lowlah

2009-04-03T17:09:00.007+01:00

I'm suffering from cabin fever and blogging is keeping me sane. Fear not, I won't post over the weekend.

Today is the penultimate friday of Lent. Any good Catholic will know that on every friday between Ash wed and Easter sunday, we're not supposed to eat meat. I've gotten very creative in the fish department. I remember the days of waiting till the dot of midnight on friday and racing to the 24 hr drive thru for some grub. I also try to think pure thoughts on Fridays during Lent so no sexy posts today :(

Thanks for all the love that you guys have been showing me. I've only been on here for a few days and I feel very welcome. I think it's only fair if I share some things about me.

1. All my stories are true and happened at some point in my past. In the last few months, I've been purity incarnate and that doesn't really make for fun posts.

2. I decided to go celibate not because of religious beliefs or because I'm waiting for marriage, but because I wanted to see if I could. It's been a test of my self restraint.

3. I have naturally curly hair, no texturizers, relaxers or anything, but I'm not mixed. I'm too dark to even be considered mixed. My skin is the colour of a galaxy bar and my nose and lips are definitely African.

4. Like most girls, I'm obsessed with shoes, but unlike most girls, I don't like chocolate. I also have big feet (size 8 UK) which is a good thing because my friends can't "borrow" my shoes.

5. I'm pretty tall and a lot of guys find my height intimidating, especially since I'm fond of high heels.

6. I've been the exact same size and weight since I was 16, except my boobs grew 2 0r 3 cup sizes. I can eat whatever I want and not gain any weight. I even eat right before bed. I know my unhealthy habits will come back to haunt me one day.

7. I am a huge cynic when it comes to love. I will never admit to ever making love. I would rather fuck or have sex. I don't want to fall in love. I'm not ready to give any part of me to anyone.

8. I have my very own stalker.

9. I have a few tattoos and really want to get more. I also have some very distinctive scars on my legs from an accident I had in my teens. I used to feel self conscious about them, but then I thought screw it, and I rock shorts and mini skirts now.

10. If I were to pick someone from blogsville that I would like to ravage me (besides Qubie Wubie) it would be Ceberus. I have a weakness for deeply creative, artistic, intellectual men that speak foreign languages. I want to bring O to his knees.

11. I think in French sometimes. I also blurt out french words by accident once in a while.

12. I love cars and gadgets. I'm not a grease monkey, but I would like to be.

13. I've never had sex in Nigeria, and I would really like to. I left Naij before I was old enough for any of that, and I've never visited long enough to get down there (and daddy won't let me out of his sight). I'm visiting this summer but I still can't get any cos I'm celibate *le sigh*

14. I have 3 alter egos. Miss Lowlah is the most uninhibited and the greediest. She pretty much gets what she wants.

14. For those of you that read my last post and commented, you were right.

It was 3 ;)

15. I love to cook. I can make anything from Egusi soup to thai curry to Macaroni and cheese.

16. I like to think I'm creative. I draw and paint and I sing and play piano. I can play by ear. I also dabbled in dance for a bit.

17. I'm pretty sure Qube and I are having twins. lol

2 Truths and a Lie

2009-04-03T12:52:00.002+01:00

I'm pretty bad at this and the lie is always obvious.

1. I once had sex in the kitchen of my mum's house while she and my siblings were home
2. I've had sex with a boss
3. I plan to seduce my high school accounting teacher

Which do you think it is?

Fixed the Comment Issue

2009-04-03T11:36:00.003+01:00

I was feeling unloved for a minute till I realized there was an issue with commenting. Comment away now.

By the way I don't know what to write about next but there are a couple things topmost in my mind:
A. How I met Goofy
B. About Boo
C. My Hausa almost lover
D. The first time a guy made me come

Only the first one has sex in it, but is the least exciting in my opinion.

<3

The Nature of the Beast

2009-04-02T21:06:00.003+01:00

Continued from here

Couldn't leave you lot hanging for too long... I'm not mean like some people *sniff*

After my shower, I had changed into a tshirt and some very brief loose shorts. I don't wear any underwear to sleep usually and that night was no different.

So I turned aound to face the Beast. He stared at me intently, like he was trying to penetrate me with his eyes and I felt the heat of his gaze all the way down... there. He barely touched me before I was dripping. I grabbed his dreads and pulled his face to mine and kissed him. Kissed him like I hadn't eaten in days and he was a quarter pounder meal. I wanted to devour him. It was like every fibre of my being was being pulled to breaking point and the tension would not go away until he was inside me.

I was so hungry for him that I was ready to skip foreplay. But I had to pace myself for his sake. As we kissed, the clothes started coming off. It didn't take long before we were both naked. He shook his mane and came toward me like an animal. I looked down and oh my worrrrdddd... Beauty was packing. I even got a little scared. The fear vanished when he pulled me to him and kissed me again, but my impatience would not let him lead.

I pushed him down and straddled him. He put his hands behind his head and watched me, grinning that wicked grin. I kissed him everywhere, trailing kisses from his earlobe to his neck, to his chest, biting and nibbling and sucking all the way down to.... sorry, a lady never talks with her mouth full.

I could only stand a few more minutes of this before I grabbed a condom and slipped it on him... or did he do it? I'm always worried about my nails ripping it. I barely gave him time to enjoy me before I was sliding myself onto him. I'm typing this and reliving the moment and have this huge stupid smile on my face.

It was amazing... he filled me perfectly and I didn't want it to end ever. I wasn't worried about my hair, or my sheets or disturbing my neighbours or anything. I screamed and bit my lip and groaned and moaned as I was being ravaged by this beast in positions I can't even describe here. I like being on top as did he so it was sort of like a tug of war. I loved being thrown all over the place, doing it standing up in the bathroom, doggy style... it was raw, unadulterated animalistic sex.

I don't know how long we went at it, but by the time we were too exhausted to move, the sheets were soaked with sweat (his, I don't sweat). I'd made a special playlist when I found out he was coming but our sex definitely deserved some heavy metal or something equally angry. It was rough. Neither of us came that night and I slept fitfully. I never relax if someone else is in my bed... dunno why. Everytime I moved, he'd tighten his strong arms around me. It was a delicious feeling.

I got up at about 6.30 the next morning to get ready for work and when I moved, it woke him up too. I kissed him good morning and sat on him squirming and giggling. One kiss led to another and another and another, before I knew it, he was hard again and I was wet.

"What do you want?" he asked me looking into my eyes
"You" I gasped

And then he ripped off my clothes again grabbed a condom and then i straddled him. I bit my lip trying not to scream with pleasure.

"Let go!" he said
"No"
"Let go!"
"Noooo... oh my..." and then I screamed.

I jumped off him to shower for work and he followed me into the bathroom

"I'm not done with you yet" and then he turned me over and bent me over the sink and stuck his yummy cock in me and my knees buckled so he had to hold me tight. He pulled his cock out and got on his knees and ate me out as I stood there.

Then he entered me again and when he came, it was with a guttural animal howl, dreads flying everywhere...

Finally I showered and got ready for work. He thought it would be a good idea to fuck me in my work clothes.... but I ran away. Lol.

Somehow I made it to work on time, but I had this huge smile on my face the entire day and a delicious soreness between my legs.

Celibacy, shmelibacy! I'm going to call... I joke, I joke, I kid, I kid. I can do this! Only a few months left... pray for me.

Ms. Lowlah <3

This Song is For Qube (My Babydaddy)

2009-04-02T17:27:00.002+01:00

And Beauty was His Name

2009-04-02T13:10:00.002+01:00

Because Beast was too obvious...

He was beautiful.

Skin the colour of honey, body hard as a rock and ten inch long... dreads that just begged to be played with. His face was hard and masculine, but his eyes were so intense and piercing. Everytime he looked at me, I swear I was impaled by his... gaze. He had a wicked grin. His stance was that of a big cat (think jaguar) poised to pounce. And I was the prey. Very willing prey.

He looked like he had gotten lost on his way back to join his tribe in the Amazon. You could just picture him naked holding a spear, those dreads swinging wildly.... but he didn't really need the spear... if you get my drift. He was wild and glorious.

He was exotic. Not Brazilian, no. But exotic all the same. Beauty was the most delicious mix of Nigerian and Asian. I nearly bit my lip off looking at him.

People, have you ever met someone and known that you were going to fuck them. That you had to fuck them. Like you don't even have a choice and the universe has already decided for you? That's how it felt. From the very first time I spoke to him, I knew I would have him.

He told me that my voice kept giving him subliminal messages. I'd say "hello", but what he'd hear was "take me!"

I finally got him in my crib. Too tired to cook, I decided to order dinner.
"Chinese or Mexican?"
"You decide"
"Are you sure? Because what I'm really hungry for is not on this menu."

We got Mexican. They have bigger... em... meals.

I couldn't eat, so I just watched him. After eating, he jumped in the shower. Without me :( I was thinking of ways to accidentally walk into the bathroom when he came out with just a towel around his waist, and I couldn't move. Omo I just sat on my bed staring at him. Mouth open. He'd unbound his dreads and they fell around his head. His body was glistening with water from the shower. His body was... I would not have been surprised if he started beating his chest and roaring. That's how magnificently beastly he was.

I decided to jump in the shower too. Had to cool off somehow. After my shower, I dressed and sat beside him watching tv. My phone rang and I turned around to pick it up. It was B talking bout some drama with her man. I was trying to be a supportive friend and all, but as soon as I turned my back to him, Beauty started to trail his tongue down from my neck to the small of my back.

"B, um... I'm going to have to call you back", I gasped.

And then I turned around to face the beast....

(See I can do suspense too :p )

Massage Oil Recipes

2009-04-01T11:19:00.004+01:00

For all the DIY loving lovers out there, here are simple recipes for sensual massage oils. Roc, I want a percentage of all the earnings you make, be it in cash or sexual favours. You dey hear?

You need
3/4 cup olive oil
4 drops essential orange oil
6 drops essential cinnamon oil
4 drops essential jasmine oil
2 drops essential clove oil

You can get all these ingredients here if you're in Yankee or here if you're in Europe. Cinnamon and jasmine essential oils are thought to be aphrodisiacs. All you need to do is blend all the above together. For an added treat, warm the mixture to room temperature before using.

Source

For the second recipe you need
half-cup of olive oil
half-cup of hazelnut oil
ten drops of cinnamon oil
ten drops of orange oil
twenty drops of ylang ylang oil

Mix it all together and bottle the mixture immediately after blended, as essential oils evaporate quickly when exposed to the air. Store your massage oil in a glass container since the essential oils tend to break down plastic over time. Also, keep it away from heat and direct sunlight. All vegetable can go bad over time, but heat will make them go rancid rapidly. Use the same way as the oil above.

Source

However, if you're lazy like me, you can head to Vicky's Secret and get one of those kissable massage oils. They smell good and you can lick them :)

<3

Oh No She Didn't!!

2009-04-01T08:55:00.002+01:00

Happy April Fools Day!!!

Her voice was actually really strong, all she needed was some training. Also very pretty. Eyahhh poor girl. She can dance oh... watch the remix.

Miss Lowlah's Sexy Blogger Game- I Tag Qube

2009-03-31T23:02:00.007+01:00

I got this idea off my sissy's bebo page. It was def not sex related but I have a mind so filthy that I can make anything suggestive...

So here's what I'm trying to do. I'd like for all the sexy people of blogsville to write a story together. Doesn't matter how sexy, or silly, or long or short. I'll start the story and then tag another blogger to continue it. That blogger will copy and paste it to his/her blog and then add a paragraph... and so on and so forth. You can put your name beside your paragraph, use a distinctive colour or do nothing. It can be fact or fiction. Cheesy or serious. Whatever, it will be fun. Oh and also bug the person you tagged to do it and then link their post back to your blog so that readers can follow the story.

Rules
No rules my darlings... have fun with it!

Here goes...

"You complete and utter beast! Did you not see me standing here?" She yelled.
He glanced back ready to spit out a curse but then he did a double take when he saw just who was yelling at him.
"Dang!" he thought. "This woman fine oh...."
Aloud he said, "What are you yelling for? Did I hit you on purpose? Abeg cool down jare"
This obviously enraged her because she walked up to him and then she...

I tag Qube the Wordsmith to continue the story...

Last Post for Today... Promise!! This one is for Roc

2009-03-31T16:26:00.000+01:00

This one's for Roc

For some reason this song makes me think of you. I have no idea why...

When I met Boo...

2009-03-31T14:06:00.001+01:00

Dang, blogging is quite addictive. I'm trying not to spill out all my gist at once (since life is currently dry on THAT front, I have to delve into my sordid past). Only for a few more months then... ;)

I'm having fun getting acquainted with the lovely people in blogsville. I have to say, I didn't realise that we Naijans were such sensual people. I knew there was a reason I loved Naija men so much...

Ok now about Boo.

I'm seeing somebody right now. I'll call him Boo. He is sooo my type. Almost to a T. I've never dated a guy that was my type before, never. I always knew what my type was, but I always ended up with, or fell for the opposite.

My type is (physically):
tall, dark skinned (darker the better), nice build, and not pretty boyish. I don't like boys with pretty faces. I like them to look like they've suffered a bit, but have voices like velvet. Men that can agbero it up, but can be as cultured and suave as Barack O when it comes down to it. That look good in jeans and sneaks and chinos and loafers. That can pick me up effortlessly and tower over me (I'm pretty tall and about 6'2 in heels). Delicious men.

Boo is funny and doesn't take himself seriously, which is a good and bad thing. He listens (a man that listens!), he never judges, he's patient and he can read me. He's open with me and I feel so comfortable with this sexy beast of a man. I can talk about anything with him. From politics, to movies, to sports (I don't talk about sports but let's say I do). I love it when he hugs me from behind and kisses my neck. I made him promise to resist my advances (since I'm celibate and all) and so far he's doing well.

I could spend the entire post extolling his virtues. There are reasons why I don't think we will be forever, but I like him enough to be with him right now. I'm going into this relationship knowing it will end already. How sad is that?

Oops, this post is supposed to be about how/when we met.

We've been friends for a good few years, since I was a college soph. Although we were attracted to each other from the beginning, there are reasons why we didn't come together till now.

You see I have always been a (ahem) jetsetting type of babe, splitting my time between 3 countries and 3 continents (not as fun as it sounds), so a relationship with anyone would not have worked as I don't do long distance sturvs.

So I was spending the summer of soph year with my fam in Europe, and that's when I met him.

I walked into my friends' apartment and he was the first person I saw. There were other people there but my eyes were drawn to him. I hugged everybody hello and was introduced to him. Being a naija girl now, I was fronting like i didn't care that he was there, but the whole time I was wondering if he was watching me. He was (can't blame him, I fine oh!).

So after ignoring him for a while, this boy took off his shirt, it was hot in the apt (he told me later that this was a calculated move on his part) and I looked because I have greedy eyes. Dang that man's body was... ah I don't even have words. After months of seeing flabby Americans, this fresh, toned, taut naija boy was making me weak.

Somehow somehow, we started to yarn. We found out that we had friends in common, we talked bout high school drama in Naija, music... for hours. People were trying to distract us, but we weren't having it. By the end of the day, I was lying with my head in his lap and feeling as if I'd known him for ages. My friends were giving us the side-eye, but I didn't care. We were both single, so no wahala. Turns out one of them had been feeling him too and I got to him first.

Soon it was time to go to sleep and everyone went to their rooms. I was spending the night there and he lived in the same apartment building as my friend, and I found myself in Boo's apartment.

I crawled into the bed beside him and he snuggled up to me, and we talked the whole night. Just talked. And then as the sun was coming up, we kissed. I wanted to do more, but he hesitated and I came to my senses. Lol. At that point I was attracted to him, but I didn't want any heavy stuff. Maybe some fooling around. I was loving his attention sha, because this boy was fiiiiine.

Fast forward to a few months later, my hols were ending and I figured it'd be a good time for us to finally...

But it was not to be. The night I was planning to, everybody got really drunk. Except me sha, I don't drink. So I was stone cold sober when I walked into the living room and saw him and my friend on the floor sucking each other's faces off.

Omo I was livid!!!

I ran into the room and locked the door. Everbody came knocking. Ah ML what's up now? Open the door now etc etc...

Eventually, I calmed down and let them in. Boo wasn't there though. I didn't care, I didn't want to see him. I was so angry. I know we weren't dating and I'd told him I didn't want to be committed but still, I felt so betrayed.

He blamed it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol. Hissssssssssss.

I was mad at him for the longest. Wouldn't speak to him or hear of him.

I flew back to the States shortly after that, and figured that he'd be out of my life for good. Good riddance. Nonsense!!

But I didn't get any peace in the States either. I got tangled up in all that mess with Goofy and Bitch. I don't think sometimes. I get bored easily and that's what gets me into trouble.

Maybe writing here will keep my idle self busy.

More to come on Boo... don't want to kill you with super long posts/ over posting. I'll try to limit myself to one a day, but there's so much I've been wanting to get off my chest.

Live, Laugh

Miss Lowlah <3

She said "eat me out..."

2009-03-31T03:12:00.000+01:00

...Rewind...

Before I get into this post I must declare:

I'm in bloglove with Roc! He deflowered my blog and they say you never forget your first. I dream of candles and bubbles and massages... ;)

*Disclaimer*
This is a factual blog. I haven't got the imagination to make up these stories. The only things I change are the names.

I was bitching to her about Goofy and how he'd hurt me and how I miss him and all that boring junk people say when they get hurt. She listened. The bitch. How I loathe her now.

I'd just gotten a new nseries phone and we were playing with the video camera. Filming each other talking. We were (still are) young and pretty. We liked seeing ourselves immortalized.

Somehow, we started talking about breast sizes.

Her: I'm a B cup
Me: Me too... but yours look bigger
Her: I think it's cuz I'm shorter than you. But they're the same... here... feel.
Me: Er...

She grabbed my hand and put it on her boob.

Me: Er...
Her: Let me see yours
Me: I don't think...
Her: What are you shy for?

And then she pinned me down grabbed the hem of my shirt and lifted it up giggling.

Her: Nice bra
Me: Vicky's secret

And some of this is a blur. I was totally sober but inebriated by heartbreak. I figured I'd see how it'd play out.

Next thing I know, she's kissing me. And I kissed her back. After all, it was on my list of things to do before I graduated from college.

So we kissed. It was nice. Different than kissing a guy, but the same. I couldn't help myself. My hands roamed all over her body, feeling the softness... the curves. Sooo different than Goofy. Better or worse? I didn't know, but the trisexual trisexatops in me wanted to see how far I could take this.

So I put my hand on her waist. She kissed my breasts. I slid my hand into her sweatpants. She didn't stop me. I slid my finger along the back of her thong till I was... this... close... to her pussy. She urged me to keep going so I did.

The camera was still filming this whole time.

She was a moaner.

I slid my finger into her pussy. It felt nice. Like mine. Warm and wet. We were both topless at this point. I pushed her off me and got on top of her, kissing her mouth, her neck, her breasts. I loved sucking on her nipples. I'm getting kind of hot writing this.

I took off her sweatpants and started to play with her using my fingers. I touched her the way I'd touch myself, and she responded. I knew exactly what to do. She urged me to go lower, she said "eat me out".

At first I hesitated. But then I went for it. I tasted her and I have to say it was okay. I don't see why guys fuss about giving head. It doesn't taste nearly as nasty as cum.

I licked her clit and tickled her g spot with my finger at the same time. She was moaning and saying my name. I'm used to hearing grunts and growls. But not a soft voice saying my name.

Weird.

She came pretty quickly.

She wanted to do me next but I said no. This will sound weird, but I felt way too shy to let her go down on me.

Afterward, we took a shower and ordered pizza.

A few weeks later, she was with Goofy. How could he? How could she?

Whatever. Over it.

<3

Bikini/Brazilian Waxes

2009-03-30T17:46:00.000+01:00

Just a random post.

Question for any guys that are reading this. Which of the following is more appealing to you?

I think I know the answer to that one. My other question is, is it just an aesthetic thing or does it make the sex feel better? Is it that you guys really want to have sex with underage girls that are still bald down there?

I've always told the guys that I would get a wax if they got one too. I think that's fair. Shaving is not an option. Who wants nasty ingrown hairs and stubble down there? Plus it's so damn itchy growing back. Why? Why can't we just be as nature intended? :( I guess I'll stick to my depilatory creams till something better comes along. The results of waxing are awesome, but it hurts like fuck!

I've done it twice. The first time, I was going to Naija for xmas and I had visions of myself lounging on a beach somewhere in a bikini and my victoria secret-esque body. Popsi very sharply nipped that idea in the bud and miss cooch got no play :( I wasted a hundred bucks on that nonsense (had my legs done too). They wouldn't even let me out the house in anything above the knee.

The second time was more worth it. I'd been talking to this majorly sexy dude for a while, and we'd never... you know now.

So we were having this conversation that turned to sex.

Him:So are you hairy or do you shave?
Me: (Feigning innocence) My legs?
Him: You know what I'm talking about woman.
Me: (In my *sexy* voice) Neither
Him: Huh...?
Me: I wax. Why?
Him: I'm just trying to picture you naked.

That was a huge lie on my part. The one time I'd done it before didn't count and I'd been rather neglectful of that area as it was winter and I was always covered up. While he was far away, it didn't matter. In my head I was sexy and smooth all over.

A few weeks later, he decided he'd come visit for the weekend, but it was still iffy until the day he was supposed to come. So he texted me that morning with his flight details and I thought crap! I sharply booked a wax for lunchtime (there's a place in the same building as my office. Convenient no?) and spent the morning defuzzing my legs.

At lunchtime I went in. The Vietnamese lady took a look at me and said, follow me.

Her: Lie down
Me: Um... should I take my pants off
Her: Yes! Everything!

At this point I was quaking in fear. First off, that wax looked alarmingly hot. Secondly, I was about to have a total stranger up close and personal with my...

I knew I would never be able to go back there again.

Her: Spread your legs. Not like that, like this!
Me: Um... that hurts. Um... my legs don't bend that w... ow! ow!
Her: (I might have imagined this) Pussy...
Her: When last did you have this done? (as she surveyed the er... site)
Me: Uh about a year ago
Her: (Shaking her head) NO! You must do every 4 weeks
Me: (Under my breath) Your father!

Anyway, it was excruciating. First the hot wax is applied. It's not so bad, but then comes the RIP!! as your hair and flesh are torn away with the cloth strip. It hurt! and it went on forever. But she went everywhere, my mons, labia, between my butt cheeks. It was so embarrassing to be on all fours as if I was about to get it doggy style, while she attacked my butt hole with hot wax. Chei! Never again. I could see little pin pricks of blood where the hair had been pulled away.

Then we got to the sensitive part of my mons, right above my clit. For some reason, the hair there wouldn't budge! She tried in several different ways but it wouldn't come off. Eventually I was like enough, enough! Leave it! I'd wanted to get it all off, but I left a strip there.

This whole time, she was making conversation with me (I couldn't look her in the eye)
Her: So why you do this?
Me: BF's flying in tonight.
Her: But you no suppose have sex for 3 days after this
Me: I hate you

Eventually it was over, I paid my $50 and walked out unable to look at anyone in the salon. I was pretty sure they'd heard my screams. I couldn't even walk properly. The wax was sticking to my panties and it was so uncomfortable. I staggered into work with minutes to spare, sure that everyone knew what I'd just done. I kept my head down the whole day.

Finally it was night. I picked him up from the airport and took him home, fed him and then... story for another time. Three days my yansh. *Hissssssssssssssss*

I guess the moral of the story is: is this wahala really necessary? Will sex not still be the same regardless? It was sha my fault for running my mouth trying to be Ms. Sophisticated.

Later <3

Welcome!

2009-03-30T16:55:00.000+01:00

Ekaro oh, Ndewoo, Bonjour, Gutentag, Howdy and Sup!

Welcome to my blog.

So the basics. I am a not so normal, not so regular Naija girl and I've been reading all the wonderful explicit blogs written by other naijans and I thought, why not add my own spice to the soup? My friends have always told me that my love life would make a good book or movie (I doubt it but I like to talk about sex baby...) So here I am bringing my own craziness to the table.

About me.

I'm not exactly conservative, but I'm not "wild" either (totally subjective). But I do think I'm interesting. I'm in my very early twenties, a college grad, a shoe addict, a good cook, a big sister, an adventurer, a sexual being and I'm celibate. Yes. I'm celibate. This is a sex(ish) blog so how do celibacy and sex go together?

I don't know. But we'll find out sha.

I spent my formative years in the western world and so I have a pretty relaxed attitude toward all things sexual and am open to trying new things. I'm trisexual (i.e I'll try anything once). I've been bicurious too (I'd def do it again). But I deffo prefer men :)

I waited till I was 17 to have sex and I did it wih someone I had already dated for a year. I was one of those "saving it till marriage" girls, but eventually I changed my tune. Not because I felt any pressure to do so but because I was ready and I loved him. I have nothing but good memories of my first time and of him, so thanks to him, I didn't really have hangups about sex. It was the idiots that came after that effed me up. Hissssssssssss.....

Anyhoo, it's true that if you have sex once, you have to keep doing it. It's like a drug. I was never on nympho levels but I did like to get it every now and then. The longest I went without (before my self-imposed celibacy thing) was a month and change. I wasn't ultra-conservative about sex, but I didn't do it with just anyone either. Last year, I decided to have a one night stand and it was what started my celibacy thing. It was amazing. AMAZING! I felt that it would never be topped and I didn't want the disapointment of trying. Sadly we didn't work out, but that night is forever imprinted in my memory. Eventually, I just decided to see if I could go a whole year without sex. I'm nearing the end of the year now, and I've managed to get by on just some kisses here and there. My restriction was nothing below the neck. No oral, dry humping, fingering etc. Just hugs and kisses. Nearly drove some people crazy, but I stuck to my guns.

By the way, is it a one night stand if you and the guy were friends prior to the act?

Here's to the end of the year and the debauchery that should follow. But then again, I might decide to just make it 2 years...

Welcome!

Miss Lowlah <3